The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i am wondering in i am lying to myself. With all the emotions i am feeling anger is not one of them. am i suppressing it. i don't know. i feel sad, confused, scared the list goes on, but not angry. not for the lies, the deception, the loneliness and this list goes on also. but yet not angry. this is not to say that i have not felt anger or i do not have angry moments sure i do but i guess i feel like over the last two years i have grieved the husband that i had and that where i am today in that grief does not include anger. i know that anger is a natural emotion with all the crap we go through, so where is mine?
There was a long time I didn't feel anger. I think we go through the emotions in stages and maybe you haven't gotten to the anger stage yet. Maybe you don't feel the right to feel angry. Only you know what you feel. It's okay NOT to feel angry.
I am so glad that you are posting with updates. Feelings are not right or wrong. They are just there. Meeting you has touched my life. You are so courageous. Make sure you do something nice for you today. Sending lots of prayers for you and your family.
I, too, have had moments where I've thought, why don't I feel X, Y, Z ways in response to X situation? I try not to pressure myself to feel any particular way. Sometimes, when I am pressuring myself to feel a certain way, I realize it's either because it's how I think I SHOULD feel based on (don't laugh) movies I've seen or sometimes what others in my life think I should feel. If the anger is there, it will surface in time. Regardless, you're going through a lot and what's most important is to really take care of yourself. Be kind, be gentle and truly nurture yourself.
There are a lot of times where I don't feel anger either. Or I sould clarify that with "stay angry". LIke you I feel the gamut of emotions but anger is the one that leaves the quickest. I don't think that's wrong. I think it's just the way I was raised and my personality that I just cannot stay angry for very long. SOmetimes I wish I could but it's just not who I am.
So if you are not an "angry" person - don't worry. Be who you are
