The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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level.
well my a's mom never came here to talk to me but my a showed up while i was sleeping. he gave me his keys and apologized. i said whatever. he left. so im up now even though i havent slept well last night and im hungry with nothing in my house to eat. this makes me sad. my a is the cook around here i wreck everything. then im supposed to go see my family for christmas which i really dont want to do but my brother called me and made me feel like a piece of crap because i wasnt going. now im really not going because obviously things arnt working out for me and my a and all my family does is gossip. we were so happy last christmas planning our wedding and everything. now all that has been put off and obviously we are done right now. so what do i do? i didnt ask for this. i dont want to come home to an empty house. i dont want to spend christmas alone but rather would then go out of town to see all the happy normal families with their perfect lives. why couldnt he just stay sober. i know he has a disease yada yada yada. but i hate being so hurt. i dont know how i can take care of myself. i havent been working this last week and called in today due the the huge headache i have from all this stress. i think of halt. i am hungry i am angry i am lonely and i am tired. i cant hold food down, i cant sleep. so how do i deal with myself and help myself. dear god please help me.
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
I have a hard time dealing with this time of year, too! You can take care of yourself. Boil an egg, make some toast. Tea and toast is one of my comfort meals! Make yourself get up and do something. I can't tell you how many walks I've taken just to stop myself from sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I will keep you in my prayers, too.
Don't let your family guilt you into doing something you don't want to do. I'm not doing Christmas this year. I've heard it all from my family and friends. I just tell them I'm taking care of me right now and I don't have the will or desire to go shopping.
I agree, you don't have to let them guilt you into doing things you don't want to. But, also, if it is mostly a good time, why not go and let them give you a little TLC? If it is pride keeping you away from people who love you, you can set down your pride. If they are more toxic than caring, you have the right to stay away and take care of yourself. I find, when I am so low, that a small and easy plan works best. Walk to the store, enjoy the Christmas lights, and buy yourself something healthy to eat -doesn't have to be fancy, fruit and whole grain bagels, or whatever you like that is also good for you. Gives a sense of being in control of at least that one thing. Hit the library, favorite magazine or new romance or mystery, rent a movie you like and your A would make fun of you for watching..... There are small things that you can do for yourself - curled up in bed after a warm bath, fuzzy jammies and a bowl of grapes and cup of tea, good book - you don't need anyone to do this for you.
I'm with lin on this one. I know how you feel - been there. Maybe, though, it won't be so bad being with the family. My siblings and I and our families go to our mom's house for Christmas dinner. There were times when I went having only one nerve left and they all were getting on it. But I was always glad I went because they are not all bad all of the evening and we'd all basically enjoy most of the evening. It was better than being home alone. But if it's not something you really want to do and aren't up to going anywhere, then go buy yourself some goodies to eat or comfort food,curl up on the couch with a blanket,book and remote control. Maybe it'll help get your mind off stuff for a while.....jaja
