The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am hurting, angry, resentful and depressed. We still have not bought a single gift for the kids for Christmas. They are not going to get any this year. This is so not fair to them. They are only 2, 8 and 10. My 8 year old isn't home yet, but I still wanted to get her gifts. My husband smoked up his whole check last week and this week he owes his whole check for bills that can't be put off. His last paycheck is next friday, but he will not receive any pay because he was sick this week and did not work. We put up a tree for nothing. I feel like slinging it out the front door and just might do it. I don't even have the food to cook a Christmas dinner. I hate him. I hate myself and I hate my life right now and know that I have the power to change it, but need to change so much I don't know where to begin. I don't know if I even have the energy, Even if I change my life, it doesn't save christmas this year. I had to tell my kids today that there will be no christmas.
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time.
Are there resources that you can go to?
My department at work coordinates with local charities. We passed around a spreadsheet of what 2 local families need this Christmas then we all picked something and bought it. Some people gave money and gift certificate too.
In recovery
Megan
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Yes indeed, the holidays can be a very rough time for those of us with an active addict in our lives. We fool ourselves into believing that they will snap out of it because after all it's Christmas time for Gods sake. Unfortunately the disease is more powerful than that.
I agree with Megan. Instead of focusing on the problem, try to shift gears (easier said than done, I know) and focus on possible solutions. Local churches are a great idea. Perhaps try the Salvation Army. I know here in Fl the postal dept runs a toy drive and the mailmen pick up new toys from everyone donating on a certain day. Maybe call your local post office and see if they have anything like that? Is there anything you can pawn for money? I know my A has pawned his tools so many times for drugs, that I don't hesitate to pawn one of them if I need something for my kids and he's not providing. Just a thought.
As for dinner......there are food pantries out there and I know they will be able to help you out, especially now during the Holiday. Is there any family or friends you could spend Christmas with?
Just some ideas to throw out there. You're aware of what the problem is.......now try to find the solutions. Easy does it.
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Kathy S --
~*I trust my Higher Power that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life today.*~
(((powerless)))) i wish i could reach thru this computer and give you a hug. i think megan has the right idea, i know that lots of churches help out around this time of year and then there is toys for tots, i'm not sure how you go about getting the help, but i do know it's out there. hang in there, and remember, this too shall pass. i'll be keeping you in my prayers.
Just because you have no gifts doesn't mean there is no Christmas.
Christmas is all about Spirit. There are many free things you can do WITH your kids that they will remember. There are light displays, christmas concerts, and many events around your community.
Pray for God's direction this season. Sometimes we have to pray for clarity. God has a direction for you to take this season, you just need to seek clarity on the situation, and ask for an open mind.
I am a natural caretaker, so all I want to do is make Christmas for you!!
Hang on my friend...I will give you all the strength I can!!
There are church and local organizations which may help you get at least a few toys under the tree for Christmas and maybe even a turkey in the oven for dinner.
Don't give up yet. I know it's tough to accept these things. I broke down and applied for and received $250 for my electric bill 2 months ago. I still haven't brought myself to ask for any other help.
I will have $$ for presents, but I know if I didn't I would be seeking these resources.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I know how you are feeling, been there and done that too many times to count. Now is the time to ask for help, like others have said try the churches, Salvation Army. If you have relatives that buy gifts for the kids, tell them the truth, ask them if the gifts could go under the tree from Santa. Little ones like tiny things from dollor stores as well, try picking up at least a few dollor gifts.
I know my 2 year old loves cell phones, we bought him a regular present for his Birthday and I picked up a dollor toy cell phone because it was cute. He hasn't touched his real gift, but the toy phone he never puts down.
I would also not hesitate to pawn something of value that I have, my husband never thought twice about doing it to drink.
I wish I had the words to make it all better. Hang in there, open your mouth and ask for help.
My Dear Powerless, all the above are excellent ideas. How about an old fashioned Christmas, make them a photo page in a 99 cent frame, or make something from things you have around the house. Kids get way too much crap ayways. Focus on something from your heart this year! They know how you have struggled.
josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Everybody already said what I was going to say but I will send you hugs and good wishes. I didn't think we were going to have Christmas either but thank God my MIL gave me her credit card to start paying in Jan. So not the usual OVER THE TOP Christmas we usually have but at least something will light their little faces up and that is all I can ask for. Actually this may be the best Christmas ever because it has made me so very grateful. My heart goes out to you and I am praying for you and your family.
