The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One obstacle over which many of us stumble as we attempt to battle this disease of attitudes is our "own" expectations, There is no better way to make ourselves feel victimized and helpless than by harbouring unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, or by confusing expectations with needs and insisting that they be met. Attaching our well -being to a particular action or outcome is very risky.In essence, we make that situation a kind of higher power moment, a turn of events could dash the dreams and plans upon we've built our lives.
Life is far to uncertain for such misplaced faith. So it is in our best interest to examine our expectations..............
Are they realistic, or based on fantasy?
Do we hold them loosely , with the flexibilty to let them go or make adjustments as further information comes along?
Or do we cling tightly to those flimsy ideas and invest our self worth, our entire well being in them?
If we allow our expectations to dominate, we set ourselves up to be victims or martyrs again and again. Remember we have the choice and ability to change our attitudes. We can adjust our expectations so that they are more realistic, We can also detach from them, anchoring our well being and peace of mind in our Higher power, rather than an external situation.
I am going into this holiday season with one thing in mind to keep the focus on myself, and not try to have expectations as most of us do at this time of year. I am especially not going to exceed my expectations of myself nor anyone else. I am going to enjoy no matter what occurs around me. If I have a "slip", I can remember that I have choices, I can remain in the delima, or I can choose to jump back into the joys of this holiday season.,,,,Wishing all of you the very best,,,,,,,,,,,,,,gardengal
Thank you for this post gardengal. This is exactly where I am now! A friend passed away and the funeral if Friday. I am having company come to stay at our house and putting up xmas decorations is once again on the back burner. I decided that if I get some out even 2 days before xmas that is fine :) I always want them out a month before. My friends and all our grieving is more important than any xmas decorations anyway. WE can still enjoy the atmosphere of xmas with some little decorations and not all that I have anyway. People are the reason for my xmas celebration anyway. Taking care of me too is utmost too due to my health and my parents. I feel good about lowering my standards for the blessing of friendships and health. Thanks for this post. It just reassured me that my decisions as of today are the right ones for the changes I am making in my life :) cdb
I need to put more focus on the people in my life and take more of the focus off the things in my life. Take care of the people around me and my own health (physical & emotional).
