The material presented
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christmas is just too hard on me this yr..want to move on to Jan, but it wouldn't be fair to the kids..money is not here..struggling, tired of it all, and worn out..just need a hug, that isn't there...happy holidays..well, wouldn't say that, but have a nice one anyway...kat
this is a bad time for me too...last year this time was my happiest christmas ever... it was my 1st with my boyf.
we had sooo many plans and dreams which are now gone out the window due to his drinking which started in august.
i need hugs everyday too......
....some people would say i was emotionally unstable. if i didnt have this message board to contact others in the same boat as me...i would be totally lost.
Kat.......I know the holidays and especially Christmas is smack in the middle of our bermuda triangle and are tough. I find myself dreading the day once in awhile too, considering my A was already planning the beverages of choice in October. LOL
But.....I keep plugging along odat. I figure my A won't be using until at least 2PM and the kids have us up by 7AM, so I'll have a few dry hours. LOL Maybe it's not funny, but if I make myself chuckle a bit it's how I get thru it.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Hi Big hugs Kat. Full moon is making us all emotional. Two days either side of it once that passes things will settle down. I am the opposite very fiery when the moon is full. Luv Leo x
thanks for all the hugs, especially the squishy ones...I can feel them all the way over here..where I live in the land of ice and snow...love you all, and feel right at home here. I need to stop having these pity parties for one, and I'm the only one invited....thank you for being here for me and for everyone else too. I do feel emotionally unstable as well, crying for no reason, grief bursts...in the real world, no one feels comfortable around me..and I don't with them either. I was opening a box of ornaments from my mom and found a restraining order she had filed against my dad in 1980, that was a trigger, and I had a panic attack, I took a hot bath, and wept in the bathrm for about an hr..got out, took a xanax and slept for about 10 hrs..so odd for me, an insominiac who never sleeps longer than a few hrs...this is a roller coaster ride and I just want to get off, I don't like roller coasters anyway. hate them as a matter of fact. Everyone in the real world knows my brother was an A and so were several members of my family. Most people just use this info as a form of gossip, hardly any words of comfort. Neighbors considered my brother a "nut case" or a creepy charactor..which he certainly could be. My father always worried about his reputation in the town...lol...how goofy is that? He still is worried about that. We all who have lived with As know this abnormal life as normal..we don't know what "normal" means....that's what is hard, feel robbed somehow, of what might have been , had there been no alcohol or substance abuse in my home growing up. thanks for every one here..and for your hugs and support...love ya all...kat
(((((((((((((More squishy hugs for you)))))))))))))) ((((((((((((warm cuddly ones too )))))))))))))) ((((((((((who gives a crap what the neighbors or anyone thinks hug))))))))))) ((((((((((you are special just the way you are hug))))))))))) (((((((((((((((no more rollercoaster rides hug)))))))))) (((((((((( sympathy hug))))))))) ((((((((((friendship hug)))))))))) ((((((((((((un-holiday hug)))))))))))) ((((((((funny hug))))))))) (((((((((((I like you hug)))))))))) ((((((((unconditional hug)))))))) Now,,,do I need to draw a butt again to get a smile on that face :) LOLOL this all looks like I just made you dizzy :) Instead of picturing a rollercoaster ride, how about something more gentle,,,,like a yaht ride or a gondola ride? Find a new picture with ups and downs that is more fun and comforting to visualize :) prayers still going out to you. cdb (((((((((cdb hug)))))))
thanks for all the hugs, especially the squishy ones...I can feel them all the way over here..where I live in the land of ice and snow...love you all, and feel right at home here. I need to stop having these pity parties for one, and I'm the only one invited....thank you for being here for me and for everyone else too. I do feel emotionally unstable as well, crying for no reason, grief bursts...in the real world, no one feels comfortable around me..and I don't with them either. I was opening a box of ornaments from my mom and found a restraining order she had filed against my dad in 1980, that was a trigger, and I had a panic attack, I took a hot bath, and wept in the bathrm for about an hr..got out, took a xanax and slept for about 10 hrs..so odd for me, an insominiac who never sleeps longer than a few hrs...this is a roller coaster ride and I just want to get off, I don't like roller coasters anyway. hate them as a matter of fact. Everyone in the real world knows my brother was an A and so were several members of my family. Most people just use this info as a form of gossip, hardly any words of comfort. Neighbors considered my brother a "nut case" or a creepy charactor..which he certainly could be. My father always worried about his reputation in the town...lol...how goofy is that? He still is worried about that. We all who have lived with As know this abnormal life as normal..we don't know what "normal" means....that's what is hard, feel robbed somehow, of what might have been , had there been no alcohol or substance abuse in my home growing up. thanks for every one here..and for your hugs and support...love ya all...kat
