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Lots of things have happened since my last post... I will try to summarize and yet keep it short..
My husband and I began counseling. The kids and I moved back home. He has stopped drinking, he goes alone and then we go together. Then a hurricane hit Florida, and we were impacted again.. ( just damage to the house, nobody hurt ) .. Things were going great, my husband and i were talking, laughing, riding the motorcycle together, going to the beach at night, just spending time together. Things are going great. Then we decided to ride the motorcycle to Key West.. That is about a 6 hour ride and quite the adventure.. we decided to ride there spend the weekend and come home Sunday. We did, we rode the Friday after Thanksgiving, and returned on Sunday.. Things were good except, he drank.. Saturday night he got drunk, we were walking the streets and he got a "fofofo drink" I got one too. Then before the night was out I stopped and he was doing doubles. Well, needless to say he got drunk. Not sloppy drunk, or mean drunk but lets just say he was HURTING on Saturday. We awoke on Saturday and went snorkling, then to dinner. Without a drop.. Seemed to get back on the "wagon" so to speak.. I just kept saying " God, help me let go and give it to you".. Sunday, we got back on the bike and rode home. All and all a good weekend. Sunday night, I suspected he was drinking, I didnt say a word.. Just LET IT GO.. Monday, I came home and again, suspected he was drinking, I again prayed that God would take it away from me.. I was angry and hurt.. Kept asking myself how could he.. ?? Things were going so well.. The I got out of bed ( it was 10pm) and just said.. I know you are drinking and all i have to say is I am NOT going BACK to the way it was.. He tried to lie and say he wasnt drinking but I ask that he NOT LIE .. Turned around and went to bed. Well, he hasnt drank again since..
It is really hard to love an alcoholic.. They try so hard not to drink then fall to temptation.. The worst part is that I stopped posting, stopped going to alanon, and stopped working on myself. I have started working on me again, learning that I am as sick as he is.. I have to work on ME, so I am .. I have lost 6 lbs, and working on more.. Beginning to read my recovery BIBLE again, as well as my alanon information.
I am taking one day at a time, or at least trying to..
Thanks, for caring and PLEASE continue to keep me in your prayers..
I'm glad to hear things were going well and sorry to hear that he has slipped again. Maybe it was just a reminder that you needed to keep taking care of YOU!
Hang in there Tammy and keep coming back. Keep us updated.
Well you may have left alanon but the tools didn't leave you. It sounds like you still managed to have a good time despite the drinking. Your well within your right to tell him your not going back to that. You handled the situation great I think.
Welcome back. Keep building on what you started here before !
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Haven't seen you post in a while and I was thinking of you. Back in my drinking days I LOVED Key West! What a great place for an active alcoholic. Maybe not such a great place for a newly sober one, as you found out.
Early sobriety is scary stuff. Once we get a little confidence and feel a little better about not drinking, we sometimes kid ourselves that 'one' for a special occasion won't hurt. When I read "Things are going great. Then we decided to ride the motorcycle to Key West.. " the hair went up on the back of my neck. I remember going on vacation with my family to Willamsburg when I was attempting sobriety. I thougt non-alcoholic beer was OK with meals. Went to a restaurant that didn't have it, and had 'just one' regular beer. Guess what happened? Nothing. Good news, right? I'm afraid not; all it did was help delude me further into the belief that I really don't have a problem. That's how cunning this disease is. I can't bargain with it or negotiate. I need to know I can't even step in the ring with it. I may as well be stepping in the ring with Mike Tyson with barbeque sauce on my ears.
It's not your fault or responsibility that he picked up, but maybe places like Key West are not the best place to go for a while. Hopefully you both learned a few valuable lessons here. The first, places to avoid for a while. Second, and very important, that there is still something special between you two to keep you together if you can both get through the rough parts of early recovery for yourselves.
My husband had stop drinking for about 6 months. I stop going to my meeting. Stop working on myself and then one day he was back drinking. It was so hard to handle. However I got up brush my self off and called my group of support I have put together. I got through it. Right now today he hasn't drank in over two weeks that I am aware of, but he still has the attituded. Hang there is support for us.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
I have been wondering how you have been. Glad to hear from you. And you don't have to worry, you are always in my prayers! I'm glad you continue to work on your happiness cuz you deserve only the best.
I too seemed to have stopped taking care of myself and just came back to the board a few days ago. Wow, how amazing that the feeling I got the first time I came here, that I was not alone is still so strong.
Either I am only looking for posts that seem to relate to where I am right now or a whole bunch of us did the same thing this fall, but many of the familar people are saying the same thing as you and I.
We must have gotten something the first time around to know we needed to come back and dust off and try again. You will be in my prayers, stay strong, take care of you and don't be hard on yourself. I think that we all just want to believe it can be easy and when they are not drinking think that all is well. I guess that is when the really hard part begins.
