The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
and I need to stick with it. He didn't have his part of the rent, he is only working two days a week at a bar, he was on a drinking binge (I went to my parents when he did that) and he is continually trying to make me feel guilty for having a car and an apartment. I let him borrow my car and broke my own rules again. I have been crying almost nonstop for days now, even almost lost my job because I called in again because I was too emotional. I am going to a face to face meeting tomorrow, now I need to stick with it. I am so miserable living with someone who doesn't like me, want to talk to me or want to make love to me unless he's drunk. He said I bark orders at him when I ask him to turn a light off or clean up after himself. I just can't take it and I need support more than ever.
Well I think you are doing the right thing by going to a F/F meeting and posting. Getting support is taking care of you. I can identify with feeling frustrated with the "a" and the ill temperment that can comes with this disease. My "a" says the same thing about me barking orders at him. I think if I ask him to do anything he doesn't want to, I get angry, especially when I'm carrying most of the load financially and at home. If you feel strongly about your decision to have him move out, and that fits for you, then go for it. Make a plan, talk it over with your sponser or another Alanon friend to bounce ideas. I have learned to get real familiar with my budget and everything that would be involved with dissolving our relationship. I have a plan B and even C for times when unexpected problems arise and I need help. Keep close to your support system family, and friends. We are just as ill as the "a" and need just as much support, sometimes more to get through our own transitions in life. Good Luck to you, and hang in there.
Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I make enough to live without him, it just will be a little tighter. He is getting the rent money and I did yell and scream at him, but I think it's enough already. I don't know why I am still with someone who emotionally abuses me, but it has to stop or I will lose my job. I lost my last one because I let him effect me so much. He still has his, but his hours were cut because of his drinking (I think), I mean he was written up for it. He doesn't nurture me at all, doesn't have dinner with me, nothing is there. I know he is sick, but I am sick too and too fragile to deal with this on my own or at all. My psychiatrist who hasn't seen me in 6 months is going to be very upset that we are even back together. When I tried to kill myself twice in the last two years we have been together. Between him, my mother and my bi-polar, I just can't deal...And you are right, I am sicker than he is, especially because I put up with it. I hope I can find the strength and confidence I need. My stomach is upset, my body weak, but I did go to work and I am alive, so I guess there is hope
