The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Did pretty well last night. Straightened up my house, went through my mail...took a nice shower and danced around my house to blasting music......you know the cathartic angry kind that gets it all out of your system? No calls. It felt good.....Just when I was ready to settle in the phone rang...the A. OK, do I answer it? It took me a while, but I did. He called to tell me that he discussed his "issue" at treatment and that they are going to start treating him for sex addiction along with the drugs and alcohol. Telling me was very diffcult for him, I could tell as he could barely manage to get it out. He said he didn't know if it would matter to me at this point but he wanted me to know. Duh. It's not something I haven't really known all along and I've always felt that that not being addressed was the reason why he was never successful at treatment/recovery. From what I have read through the years, cocaine and sex are very interrealted. Maybe if he would have dealt with it earlier, at least admitted to it, well, maybe things would be different. But they're not. I have not been able to find any compassion for him. None at all. I need to let go of this anger. It is my choice. I am trying.
My current A has 9 years in recovery. I met him 7 months ago. His constant need for sex is somthing that really upsets me. I have read about sexual addiction but he is not like what I read. However I have heard that many addicts replace their drug or alcohol addiction with sex. I am having a really difficult time with this because I am a survivor of child molestation. My A tells me that I need to just get over it. He was molested in jail and thinks that I can put it out of my mind and my heart. I have been trying to do that my whole life and it has not happened yet. I am wondering if anyone can share their ESH on this topic?
Kim I understand the lack of compassion. It is so hard to find for a person doing so much to hurt themself. That is where I am in life right now too. It hurts not to feel more. The more I work the program the more I learn and the better person I become. My past is further in my past and I try to keep my future wide open. Intamacy after a betrayal is an awful thing to overcome, but with out HP's help it can be done!
josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
MARY>>>>>>I have to remind myself that letting go is not giving in.
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ROSIE>>>>>>AMEN!!! when i discovered that, i could forgive much easier, cuz i KNEW i did not have to take them back.......a sex addict??? with today's diseases??? NOT to mention the devestation/betrayal that would bring........deal breakers to me are......ABUSE.....ADULTERY.......ABUSE of substances...........the BIG 3 A's..........ONE strike and i am GONE!!!!!
