The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yes, I do. I have fallen on old habits hard. I have called so many times when I know I shouldn't. Today was the last of it. I swear it. I came home and cleaned up my house, I'm going to hunker down with a good book and get my mind off of all this craziness if I can. I'm just sick over all of this and I haven't been able to reign myself in. Before i know it I'm off on another tangent. I'm praying that these holidays don't kill me. I am so stressed about money. He's left me with all these bills and although he says he'll pay them, he's out of work now due to his surgery. I just pray the money comes. The apartment still hasn't been rented making things even more economically difficult for me, I just need to catch a break. Please pray for me.
First things first, my friend.... and one day at a time....
It can be a vicious cycle that you are battling with, possibly within yourself right now, on the whole "call/no call" thing..... Why not set yourself an achievable compromise?? For example, maximum of "x" calls per day (or week), or something like that..... It helps you to set achievable goals and make good on them, and it also helps keep you in check....
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Okay you, cut yourself some slack. Old habits die hard. It does no good beating yourself up over it. Yes, you made a mistake calling him, but let it go and move on.
Holidays are always stressful. All you can do is what Tom said, take it one day at a time. You might want to think about contacting an agency to help you deal with all the bills, so your credit doesn't go down the drain. There are non-profit agencies (Consumer Credit Counceling, I think) that can act a go between you and the collectors. They are really good. Most places, if you contact them, and be honest are willing to work with you.
Remember to be good to yourself. You're only going to worry yourself sick (literally) and that won't help you. So focus on you, take a bubble bath, put on some good relaxing music, and realize somehow things work out in the end. You can do this.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I was beginning to do a little holiday stress recently when a friend reminded me that everything is my choice. It's my choice to be peaceful or stressed out. It's my choice to overdo for the holidays or enjoy them. It's my choice to be stressed about finances or calmly plan. Everything is my choice. I was a little irked for a moment, but then thought how freeing that is. It feels much better to be at choice with my life than living at the effect of it, ya know?
