The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Many here share on their past experiences - This is an ugly one, it would mean a lot to get off my chest. This was long before I was in any recovery.
When I was younger I reconciled w/ my ex husband I was maybe 25-26, he had a temper he would like to party w/ the boys- a lot. Well one night I found a card he paid about $80 for a membership to a strip/nude club. He is a miser with his money, still is, but back to the point. I was so hurt I tore up his membership card - an $80 card, not to mention he knew how I felt about such things. In return he went though my belongings and found my birth certificate, the one with my baby footprints on it. Tore it into tiny pieces, my mom had given me that shortly before she passed.
Also irreplaceable.
As if that was not enough, the fight grew, I was thrown to the floor -kicked. He was livid I would destroy his $80 pass, he grabbed me by the nape of my neck by my hair and pulled me back then slammed my face into his hardwood floor. Immediately there was blood and he was swearing at me, threw a towel at me and was pissed there was blood on his hardwood floors and for me to clean it up. A tooth also had gone thru my lip and I knew at that moment my nose was broken. He would not take me to the ER for treatment, I liad on the couch w/ an ice pack he had all but thrown on my face. The next morning he picked up a fresh ice pack I had on it and said your fine and he went to work.
At first no one at my job then or even now noticed it. As I get older it's more pronounced and a very negative reminder. Do others see this? - are they looking down at me etc etc...
My original birth certificate I can't replace, his $80 investment well to him I guess that was a lot (not) along with his hardwood floors being dirtied by my blood. I could have sued, but w/o a report I stood no chance. Although I have worked though the emotions I need this scar removed.
With the program tools I may not have been in that situation to begin with. That is why I am so happy to have this opportunity Wednesday to erase this stupid naive, immature mistake of mine that happened close to ten yrs ago. I will have my God gien nose back! I have not told many of this whole incident and admit it's like a weight is lifted now.
Thank you to Al-Anon and thank you all for sharing and listening along the way.
Tea, I was just thinking about you and your surgery. I wish you the best my friend. Ya know you're already beautiful. I hope getting your nose fixed makes you feel beautiful inside too. Love Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Thank you for sharing. although for me nothing quite as "bad" as that has happened to me, I beleive it is an ice breaker for so many who come to this site. By you sharing this it may help that "one" person who is afraid to speak out, as she/he feels they are the only ones being either physically abused or mentally abused by a loved one or friend. This truly tells others that we are not unique and we need not be alone anymore! And that there is hope..........thanks again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,gardengal
Perhaps this is a good example of your "God box" working, and that your surgery is a necessary step for you to finally be able to process this one for good.... Amen to that.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
So glad you shared that ~ I am praying for you also and know that with HP you are the in the very best hands. It was huge that your shared your ESH. If only the emotional scars could heal as fast as the physical ones. I am so sorry you had to endure that abuse. There just is no justification for that, membership card or no.
love ya,
Maria"123"
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Even though you'll be numbed this time, you'll still endure some similar pain, you still may end up applying an icepack to treat it. But this is the last pain you'll have to endure with this particular wound. Now instead of treating abuse, you'll be treating your healing. It's a weird juxtaposition of things that you'll endure something so similiar to heal from this. I guess it's kinda like opening an old wound to clear out the infection, to clean and treat it properly and let it heal once and for all properly.
I hope this allows you to feel healing inside and out from what was a terrible ordeal.
Prayers and healing thoughts,
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I am recovering "fully" now This is the final step I needed to take so I can feel whole again. Yes, this is a goal I held onto for quite some time. Thank you for listening Well wishes for all, tea2
