The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Gosh..where to start... I`ve been married for 18 years.15 of those years my husband has been an A. He`s a name caller..he smashes stuff,threatens to kill himself or my pets if I leave. I`ve left 100 times but he always calls me and begs me to come home while he`s sober and I always think he will change so I go back. In sept. we had an awful fight..he was drunk so I locked him out because I was scared of him.He smashed out our window with a hammer so our daughter called 911. He went to jail and I hoped he would learn something but after his Haven meetings on wed night he comes home drunk and mean. when he`s sober he is a very good person but that`s not very often. we have 4 children and our oldest is 17..she moved out and is living with my Mom cause she is sick of her Dad.My sister was also in a similar situation with her husband..she was married to him for 23 years.He was an A...she told him she was going to leave so on oct.23 he shot and killed her then killed himself.the night before her funeral my husband called me at my Moms house and told me he was going to kill himself!!!!I`m back home but as we speak he`s drunk and I made him leave..I tell him if he doesn`t go I will call the police and he will be in violation of his probation..so he left.He calls me every 5 minutes and when I tell him not to come home until the morning when he`s sober he screams and calls me names.He has a gun but I`ve hid it very well...I dont want it in my house anymore..he doesn`t understand why I`m so scared...after what happened to my sister I dont trust anyone.She was in her own home sound asleep..thinking she was safe and that coward snuck up on her and shot her in the head...I dont wanna sleep in our bed with him when he drinks but I also get scared when I sleep on the couch..I think I need therapy.
You've come to the right place. I'm so sorry about your sister, what a tragic waste of life. I hope you continue to keep yourself and your kids safe. There are alot of options out there, therapy, shelters, Ala-non, Alateen for your kids. Please don't let him rule how you live your life, take control of you and your kids and keep coming back, most of us have been through similar experiences and understand your pain. You're worth it. :)
You have been through so much and it sounds like so have your children. Everyone deserves to have respect and self dignity. A's many times say things and do mean things that they would never do or say while they are sober. If we take our A's comments personal and dwell on those things they said we can become bitter, and at times even come to believe that what they say about us is true. Taking our own personal inventory is wise and it can help us see not just what we need to improve on but give us insight on the wonderful good qualities we have. You sound like a warm,caring, sensitive women. Take one day at a time. Ask your HP for strength to see you though and help you make the right decisions at the right time. Peace be with you.
yikes , you sure do need help. I agree therapy would help alot Al-Anon and therapy work great together. Please find meetings for yourself there is nothing u can do about him ,but alot u can do to help yourself. call 1-888-4alanon they will give u location of meetings in your area Also ask if there is an Alateen meeting in your area for your children .
you need support from people who understand what you are living with . keep the focuson youself and your needs and those of your children. they need you please get some help for yourself . good luck Louise
