The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Is there a set limit of beginneer meetings 1 should attend when they first join AlAnon? Seems these meetings are more focused on why ppl joined.
Can an AlAnoner sit in on any of the step meetings or do they need to be done in order? If choice is begineer or step (and I feel Ive attended enough begineer and its time to start working on ME) can I go to a step meeting even if its not 1 of first 3 steps?
Are discussion meetings pulled mostly from the book? Whats the name again?
How else are you going to find out if you don't ask? .
I don't think you could ever ask to may questions.
Once again we don't have newcomer meetings in my area. I attend any meeting I can get to. If it is a step meeting and I am not at that step yet, I just listen to the shares and have myself open to hearing the ESH of others.
Do what you feel is right for you!
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I wouldn't worry about it too much - if you go to a meeting and if doesn't really seem to be all that helpful to you at the point you are at, then you will know that it is not for you. Alanon is not really too focused on rule following - no one will tell you that you are in the wrong place. Even if you don't have much to share about a certain step, for instance, you can learn from what others say. Personally, I would go by what my own feelings are - if I was feeling the need for a meeting, just to be surrounded by alanon spirit, then I would go to whatever was happening that night, even if on the surface, it was not really tailored to my needs. Big places will have all these different types of metings, just because they think there is a need, and they have enough people to fill them up, but it is all just alanon, at the end of the day. You qualify, you can go to any one. The way to find out what suits you best is to try them all. Most of us don't have the different types of meetings - we just go, and if there are newcomers, then it turns into a newcomers meeting. Do you have any meetings where you are that don't give themselves any type of name? That might be best for you right now. You also could call someone local and ask for their input - your beginner pack should have had some phone numbers in it. Don't feel shy about calling - if people didn't want to be called, they would take their number off the list.
I sense that you are concerned about doing this right - don't be. If you try to get to meetings, if you try to read the literature (any of it, who knows what will help you best at this time?) if you try to remember some of things you have learned and to put them in practice in your own life in a way that feels comfortable to you, then you are working the program right. Alanon is done at your own pace, and in your own way. Some people take years to do the steps, some never get all the way through them, some do them quickly, some do them over and over again. Every little step that you take towards living your own life, rather than riding on the coat tails of the disease, is a step in the right direction. You are welcome and accepted here just the way you are, the same way we all hope you will welcome us.
Go to however many meetings you feel you need. It's your recovery, so it is based on your needs. Sure you can attend any of the step meetings. Even if you are not on the step being discussed, it doesn't hurt to sit there and hear about that step. I personally have chaired the Step meetings here online, I use the book Paths to Recovery to review the Step prior to meeting. That book has been extremely helpful as I am only on Step 4 myself. The one beneficial thing I have found in being exposed to all the steps in step meetings is that after hearing the shares about them, I am not nervous/afraid/worried about doing them myself. I have a calmness about them, a deeper understanding, and am comfortable in where I am myself in my stepwork.
Discussion meetings - all depends on the group. I've gone to meetings where they will pick a topic and read the pages from our daily readers (One Day At A Time, Courage to Change, Hope for Today) and then discuss each page. I've also gone to meetings where they will choose a topic or chapter out of a book (for example How Alanon Works book, chapter on Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness) and will discuss that using a handout (the copied pages) for those who don't have the book with them. I'm sure there are probably many different ways to chair a discussion meeting.
The only thing I have found is, the more meetings I attend, the more I hear and read and share, the better I get. I started out in one ftf meeting then tried another one which I found I liked a bit better, so I'd say check out the different meetings, find one (or more) that you really like, that help you. Best wishes in your recovery - glad you are here!
Luv, Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
They say Al Anon is a simple program for complicated people. I agree! Just go to the meetings, the rest will fall into place. Think on the slogan.......KISS: Keep it simple sweetheart.
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Kathy S --
~*I trust my Higher Power that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life today.*~
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