The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been writing here to let everyone know what is going on with my a. As I posted yesterday, he has been giving me a hard time on the phone leaving nasty messages and voicemails. Everytime he calls, I don't answer. Messages are basically all the same: accusing, blaming, f**king other men, etc. He seems to be on a real serious rampage with me being the focus of his blame and anger. Tonight he calls the cell phone, I fogure I will pick it up in the hopes he will be sober and I can tell him to leave me the hell alone and he will actually remember me saying it. At first he sounds fairly sober and fairly pleasant. Then wants to know where I've been, I tell him I went to dinner with my daughter at such and such reataurant. He repeats it back to me like I am lying and says yea right, you and your daughter. I tell him don't call me anymore. I figured he was sober, I was wrong he had been drinking but covered it pretty good. I tell him I don't owe him any explainations for anything that I do in my life anymore and I can do as I please since I don't need his approval. I tell him you need to leave me alone and not bother me any more. I hang up.
Not two minutes later he is calling me again, not once but twice. I don't pick up either. I feel like I have a stalker on my ass. Granted I made a mistake tonight by answering the phone but he was so loaded the other night I figured maybe tonight would be different since it was still early in the evening. I am so mad at myself for screwing up.
He is really starting to scare me. I am getting very uncomfortable with the way the situation is turning out. I am not sure what to do. Changing my numbers would I think piss him off even more and that is even scarier. Help.
The reason you feel like you have a stalker is that you do. If you don't feel comfortable calling the police at this point, you can call a local woman's shelter and talk to them. They will have some experience in this type of thing and can give you some ideas on how to deal with it. There is also a book that I have heard is very good, though I have not read it myself, it's called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. You can probably get it from the library.
Hate to have to say this, but women do get killed by husbands and ex husbands, and there is usually alcohol or some other substance involved. If you find out more, you will feel more empowered, because you can make some sort of a plan.
Hadit please don't think you are over-reacting you are not. He could be a time-bomb waiting to go off. Take the advice given here and protect yourself asap. Thinking of you. Luv Leo x
This is how it usually starts, with phone calls. Please do not let this man victimize you any more! Start logging the phone calls, let the answering machine pick it up. I would change my number, and make it unlisted. If he shows up at your door, then call the police. This is not something to mess around with. Do not let it escalate. Call the woman's shelter, call the police, call anybody you can. If you are not getting the answers or help you need, do not give up.
Listen to your instinct. If he's scaring you, then there is a reason for it. Listen to the people on the board, some of them have lived through this. You were strong enough to leave a life behind that you didn't want. You're strong enough to do this. There is no reason for putting up with behavior like this.
Take your life back. Be careful. Be safe.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
