The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have had a rough couple of weeks in my own head. I have been really harsh on myself, mostly with expectations. I had a friend on the board remind me that all that internal chatter can remove the direction of God (Thy will, not mine, be done).
So last night I decided to phone my sponsor. I moved away from her in June, and haven't talked to her since. There have been so many things in my life that I haven't talked out with her, and after talking to her for 1 hour last night, I realized just how important she is in my life.
My sponsor to me is so valuable. I can talk to her about things that don't necessarily need to be brought to a meeting. She has known me since the beginning of my program, so knows my growth better than anybody. Even when I think things are so shitty, she always says "oh Aron, you are doing SO well!!", that in itself is worth the call.
Also, she never holds it against me for not phoning for months on end. I had thought about finding a new sponsor now that I am at a new group, and in a new city, but I have decided that "just for today" I am going to keep her.
I am only 29, and she is 72. She is the most serene woman I know, with so much compassion, and ALWAYS happy to hear from me, even when I am in tears. She has never given me advice, only suggestions of program tools to use during a crisis. (weather with the alcoholic, or in my own head). SHe talked me through my husbands breakdown that led him to the psych ward, his subsequent Alcohol and Drug rehap, his following relapse, our seperation, and our reuniting, the death of my grandfather, even taught my class to get me into nursing! And you know what, I didn't ask her to be my sponsor, she called me up one day and asked me if I had one. When I told her no, she offered to fill in until I could find one. I, of course, accepted. What a lifesaver!
After talking with her last night, I realized that I AM doing good. I have weathered many storms on my own, with great success.
So those of you without a sponsor, I suggest finding one. For me, this is the best part of the program!!
I have a sponsor that doesn't even live in the same state as me never meet her face to face. However I love her. I grew so much in a month then I have with the face to face sponsor. THis one has helped me with how to handle stuff.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Aron
