The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Got a call from my A today that he followed up with our GP and he was sending him to the hospital for a CAT scan. I told him that I would meet him at the hospital, he said he didn't want me to leave work. I said I wouldn't Iwould finish out my day and meet him there after work. (the hospital is in between work and home only 5 minutes away) I sat there for three hours waiting for them to take him up, which they did about half an hour ago. I left to come home and take care of some things (mostly myself and my dog...neither of us had eaten) and I'll go back in a little while to be there for the results. His blood work on Friday showed and elevated white count and his BUN and creatin (sp?) were elevated today. Nothing off the charts, but it could be his kidneys, could be appendicitis, not sure yet. It was nice in a way, like old times. Being a wife for a few minutes for a little while felt good. I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that I went, should I have let him handle this on his own? Will this be misconstrued? I decided that I wouldn't be me if I didn't go. I kept my boundaries, I came home to take care of myself. I'm sure he will be fine and it feels good not to be panicking that he could be dying or something (like I usually do)......well, say a prayer all...I'll be back later......
Last time I looked Kim, our program didn't say we weren't allowed to be both human and compassionate - particularly when it is not directly linked to the A's drinking activity, per se... You did what you needed to do, and that was to totally honor yourself here...
Hope your A is okay, and glad to hear that you ARE.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I hope all is well with your "A", please keep us posted.
As for going, Ask yourself this, do you feel resentful for going? If I do something for my "A" and I feel resentful, then I did it for the wrong reasons. If I do something and I feel no resentment, then I did it because I wanted to.
Have a good night, and do something good for you.
Much Love,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I hope everything goes well with your A. I see no problem with going to the hospital. Your still his wife and have feelings for him.He took the first step on his own. I'm surre he was glad you were their too.
I'm really proud of you Kim, sticking to your boundries. Yes, you understood the test results right. Did any one explain the significance of the numbers? Of the impact? Depending on what the drs are looking for will depend on how concerned on how concerned they are about the creatin. You're doing GREAT honey. I'm really proud of you.
As far as you being at the hospital, that is not enabling. You are his Wife, as long as you are comfortable with it, your place at a time like this is right where you are. We are supposed to take care of ourselves, not lie to ourselves and pretend we don't care.
