The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The belief that life has to be hard and difficult in the belief that makes a martyr.We can change our negative beliefs about life, and whether we have the power to stop our pain and take care of ourselves.We aren't helpless. We can solve our problems. We do have power - not to change or control others, but to solve the problems that are ours to solve.Using each problem that comes our way to "prove" that life is hard and we are helpless - this is codependency. It's the victim trap.Life does not have to be difficult. In fact, it can be smooth. Life is good. We don't have to "awfulize" it, or ourselves. We don't have to live on the underside.
######ROSIE.....i was raised up that life was hell, becuz my abuser made my life a hell on earth......so i really / truly believed that "life sucks than you die".....i WAITED for my death....prayed for it....tried to *help* it along (suicides)..the suicides were NOT so much to get rid of me, but becuz i felt that to die was the ONLY way i would ever feel safe from the torture...i was also brainwashed to hate myself............to overcome this, i have made several audio tapes/ cd's of self love/ trust in me/ my hp/ trust that i am now recovering, making a new and good life for me....., i am DONE with my past, that its diferent now, that my HP will take care of me.....to stop my pain and take care of me, i first had to admit defeat.......i figured it out....my perp was so powerful bcuz he was empowered by his god, satan..............the only way i had any hope to overwrite / overcome that is not fighting it alone, but to be empowered by MY God, Jesus!!!!!!! i was helpless in my thinking.......NOW i am not helpless....i do have a power working within me that is more poweful than my abuser's.....but first i had to become AWARE of and admit my defeat...i had to ACCEPT that i was powerless to fight this on my own .....i had to take ACTION of surrender......and MEAN it!!!!!! the only power i have is my CHOICE...recovery or opression!!!! CHOICE to do my part/ give over the rest....or fight it and be frantic.....i can do a lot!! but as a human, i am limited..my HP is not limited so i accepted that the rest is my HP's job...i used to use each problem to illustrate that i WAS cursed, that life was nothing but hardship, and that i was helpless/victim.......NOW???? as soon as i am ready to *share* my challenges with my HP, i CAN get by it......i did *awfulize* life...i wanted out sooo bad....i did live on the underside.....now i am committed to doing my step work....steps 1,2,3 and 11 getting the bulk of the focus with #4 in there too...........HEAVY step work with my sponser and my God......it is MY turn now, and in order to make that true, i have to CLAIM it.......
We do have power, more power than we know, even in the difficult times. And the difficult times don't prove life is bad; they are part of the ups and downs of life; often, they work out for the best.We can change our attitude; we can change ourselves; sometimes, we can change our circumstances.Life is challenging. Sometimes, there's more pain than we asked for; sometimes, there's more joy than we imagined.It's all part of the package, and the package is good.We are not victims of life. We can learn to remove ourselves as victims of life. By letting go of our belief that life has to be hard and difficult, we make our life much easier.Today, God, help me let go of my belief that life is so hard, so awful, or so difficult. Help me replace that belief with a healthier, more realistic view.
######ROSIE....my power is through my *christ within*........i am teaching myself discipline to STOP.......THINK.......ask my hp to share this with me.........be quiet and listen for answer.........i am also creating structure in my life.....SET time for journal/ posting/board work........SET time for excercising..........SET time for when the tv goes OFF, and my God work gets ON...........of course i must be/ am willing to be flexible, but you know what i mean....a structured, balanced way of doing things........i am changing my attitude from *going it alone.....fighting and protecting* to asking my HP to share and admitting defeat when it is...and giving over what i cannot do!!!!! working more on the internal parts of me.......i am just working on loving/trusting me/ god / life......changing my circumstances????? i completely detach from that and put in HP's hands.....not expecting anything cuz i don't want my misplaced expectations turning into resentments......all i can *expect" is my HP guiding me now......MAYBE i can change my circumstances from being alone and financially lacking to better, but my HP knows my needs, i am detaching from them becuz i am powerless to do more than just work my program, be more financially responsible, take care of my body/mind/health/emotions etc...stay sober physically and emotionally....i leave the rest to HP......i am NOT a victim of life....i never was.....life is not my abuser ....i was his victim in the past....not life's but his....i associated life and god with my perp and created the karma to match that belief.... thus with my disabilities and my impaired thinking/ coping/ living skills, i brought further pain upon me...i was too wounded to do any better than what i did, and so i forgive me..........yes, in the past i associated life/god with my abuser i no longer do that....he was just something evil that happened to me becuz i was THERE!!! thats all, it had nothing to DO with life and DEFINITELY nothing to do with God.....there is good...there is evil.....i just happened to be in "evil's way"........but AS i heal/ draw good to me....i see the GOOD!!!!! TODAY "God help me change my belief patterns from those of lack and limitation and suffering to those of good health/ wealth/love and self expression....help me be a magnet to all the good that you divinely planned for me".....thank you ROSIE
