The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
First, I would like to thnak you all for your posts. I had decided while I was in the attorney's office that I would give it unitl after the holidays to say anything. I had also mentioned it in conversations with my A, that maybe we should consider a formal separation he said to me:
"if you decide to do something like (see an attorney) I don't want to know about it. This (sobriety) is too new to me and I can't take the chance of making any major decisions"..
A tough place to be. Debilyn, you're right, no need to tiptoe around. But Lou, you are alos right sometimes when attorney's get involved, things take on a life of their own.
I know my options now. He has not (to date) done anything to jeopardize things that I know of. We have been maintaining a distance from one another. Basically, we cannot work on our marriage right now. It's not a possibility.
You are right, he isn't capable of working on your marriage right now, he needs to focus everything on his recovery. he is very fortunate that you realize that.