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Post Info TOPIC: The Bridge...


~*Service Worker*~

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The Bridge...


This was posted here on MIP when I first began lurking six years ago.  It convinced me to crawl into my first al-anon meeting....

 

 

Letting Go of Those Not in Recovery

We can go forward with our life (and recoveries) even though someone we love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge.  On one side of the bridge, it is cold and dark.  We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain.  Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain.  Some drank; some used other drugs.  Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior.  Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own pain.  Many of us did both;  We developed an addictive behavior and distracted ourselves by focusing on other addicted people.  We did not know there was a bridge.  We thought we were trapped on a cliff.

Then, some of us got lucky.  Our eyes opened, by the grace of God, because it was time.  We saw the bridge.  People told us what was on the other side:  warmth, light, and healing from our pain.  We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start the trek across the bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen.  They couldn't see it; they couldn't believe.  They were not ready for the journey.  We decided to go alone, because we believed and because people on the other side were cheering us onward.  The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see and feel that what we had been promised was real.  There was light, warmth, healing and love.  The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those on the other side.  Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be done.  No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge.  Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right.  Some will come; some will stay on the other side.  The choice is not ours.

We can love them.  We can wave to them.  We can holler back and forth.  We can cheer them on, as others have cheered and encouraged us.  But we cannot make them come over with us.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already crossed and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty.  It is where we are meant to be.  We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place.  And if others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.

 

Today's reminder:

I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing.  I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that.  I will not feel guilty, I will not feel ashamed.  I know that where I am now is a better place, and that is where I am meant to be.

   

Source:  Melody Beattie

 

 

 

 



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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.



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Thanks for sharing this. I needed it today: I was starting to turn back on the bridge. Time to keep moving.

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~*Service Worker*~

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love this! thank you.

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Michelle!

No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.



~*Service Worker*~

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LLOVE this share! Thank you!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."



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This is incredible. Thank you. I thought I had it all figured out yesterday, and then I gave into the the stress of my circumstances, had a horrible fight with AH. Somedays I'm up, others down. I need this message board for inspirations like this.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Very very inspirational...and true too!!  (((((hugs))))) smile



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~*Service Worker*~

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she writes amazing things....WOW



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~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you so much for sharing this with us right now. I, too, have been looking over to the other side, hoping my AH might be ready to cross over, but, much to my sadness, he is not. I am in a good place, by the grace of God. I need to focus on here and now. I have found serenity and need to keep my focus on this side of the bridge. This is where I need to be.



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~*Service Worker*~

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I keep wiping out half way across! wink



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Member

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This is something every new comer would benefit from, I suppose when they are meant to see it they will. Thank you for sharing it!

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Newbie

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Is this from conference approved literature? I cannot find it anywhere & I'd like to reference it in a meeting. Thank you!

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C.Paige Rappleye


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Prappleye87 to MIP!!

That particular passage, which I researched by googling, comes from Melody Beattie's book entitled "Codependent No More" and is not an Al-Anon Conference

approved literature that can be used in meetings. That doesn't mean that you cannot read other literature on your own, just that it cannot be used in an

Al-Anon setting.

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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



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Welcome Prappleye. Hope you find what you need and will keep coming back to share here. The reading posted is one of my favorites! It's one of the readings from Melodie Beattie's daily reader The Language of Letting Go. It's part of my recovery library and I'm grateful for it's wisdom. It's outside literature so I've never referenced it when giving a meeting although many of the reading are excellent and mirror Al-anon teachings. The book was recommended to me by my first sponsor in Al-anon and I have recommended the book as complimentary literature to Al-anon CAL literature. It's focus is codependence. 



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