(c:

Your posts meant a lot to me. All of you had so many things great to say. Made me
feel so much better.

One of ya reminded me of the C2C book. I always kept mine close and becuz
of you I gotta find it!!

My poor A. This morn I asked him what got him going? He told me and was very nice.
It is something he wanted confidential but did not tell ME. Well blabbermouth,
open, earthmom me was talking to my almost daugher in law about it and he heard me.

Anyway on top of everything else last night, after we talked, I went outside to
feed, he had left the front gate open!! I had two llamas and a huge white horse out.

I rang my dinner triangle thingy and Chief came running... of course, this horse's
nic is Munch.I am not kidding, before you can get the feed sacks to the feed area from
the pickup, he has already grabbed a bag, ripped it and is sharing it with Estersue
my farm pig girl. Partners in crime.

i grabbed my leads and a bucket of grain, by the time i got to the road the sheriff
was there. sigh. he is very nice and took me up to where my wandering fur balls
were. I had to herd them back a mile.

The sheriff decided to help me. Well if you know
anything about llamas, they protect their owners.. yep you got it. LLamayami started
to go check him out, the opposite way. I kept reassuring llamayami, I told the sheriff what
was going on so he went back to his car.

Llamayami and Sunny then just walked the next half mile back home with
me on the side of a green mountain with fir and pine trees. Was really nice.

so.....anyway I feel fine and feel so sorry for the A as he feels bad. It was a dry durnk
thing. He said he hates alcoholism and is so tired of it. He has not drank for
weeks now. But as we know, using is just a symptom.

What i find very cool is i don't feel any illwill towards him. I got mad and got over it. He accepted
that. We are ok again. See before I would have told him to get out. period and he
would have. But becuz I know it is a disease, not his fault, and becuz he opens
up and tells me the real problem, we can keep going.

One thing for us, living with alcoholism, is we have lightened up a lot. I have
learned that when I am upset it will spill over to be upset with him. I ask myself,
"what is really bothering me?" It is never anything he has done. never. So without
the alanon skills, and learning to think first, we would have such a harder time.

I am learning how it all fits together, this alanon miracle and being able to live and
love my A and him love and live with me. We would have to adjust with any
disease.So what difference is it that it is Aism?

I think about all the wonderful things he does do around here. Making a cool
pig house for two handicapped pot bellied pigs. Saving a tiny sparrow who was stuck
in dusty spider web in the barn, and now building the cats a room all their own are
only a tiny piece of how nice it is to have him here.

This man may be A but he does dishes!! However the first time he used the washer
he flooded the house so I told him NOT TO TOUCH MY WASHER! (c:

its ok to find your own normal. For us it is separate bedrooms, becuz we both
need our own space. But we sit together in a double recliner, go shopping to
gether, work on stuff together. I always said we lived well together. But not
knowing how to live with his disease would mess things up.

I understand the Miracles In Progress now. It is more than surrendering to hp and
things falling into place when ya do the footwork. It is a constant miracle of
learning and goofing up and getting back up and doing it better.

anyway thank you for supporting me. love,debilyn