The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know if I'm really following the program or not, to me this is my way of detaching, but I wrote my A an email tonite. Last night, I called him to ask him a question and we talked for a few minutes and then he said hey I'm gonna go , I'm not much on talking on the phone, so see ya later. I said okeeee. byee. Made me so mad. Cause when I'm here he calls and wants me to help him fill out papers to re-evaluate, he's legally blind, so I did. And I've helped him many times such as with writing checks at the first of the month to pay bills and such.
And when he's drunk he calls me a hundred times at all hours of the night and wants me to help him post on this website he goes to that's a supposed 'christian' website! while he's drunk!!!!!! Most of the time I've learned to turn my phone volume down and my answering machine volume down and just let it ring and the machine get it. But tonite , I'd just had it after he wouldn't even let me visit with him on the phone for 10 minutes! so I wrote him an email and told him that I wouldn't be answering my phone and I wouldn't be helping him anymore, and if he wanted to drink that was his business , but don't involve me or blame me, it was his decision! Also, told him I wouldn't be helping him do anything anymore while he was drinking! And not to email me 'christian' opinions of his , or what he thinks of AA or al-anon since he's obviously not serious about quitting his drinking.
He told me he had to quit his way and take his time and not to push, which I wasn't doing anyway, but I didn't talk to him any about it unless he brought it up. I've given him his 'time' and he's not really working a program or going to meetings, he just argues with people in the AA groups online about why he can't say Jesus' name in AA. He doesn't like using HP. He also argues online in that christian website with others about christianity, and I'm just tired of his arguing and blaming everything but himself for his drinking.
So I'm choosing to detach from his using me for his needs as such, I live in the same apts but I don't have to answer the phone or the door. I'm not being ugly about it, I'm just being firm, but I guess not very loving.I don't feel like being loving right now. He hasn't been there for me , like when my friend Donna died. I'm just tired of this.
