this sux - Al-Anon Family Group

Lauren ashley · Senior Member

this sux

Cathy · Veteran Member

Hey Lauren, Can you look for another therapist? Find someone who is willing to listen and not talk so much. I hope you can find someone else. :)

Cathy

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

Perhaps you ought to tell your therapist what you have told us Lauren. I'm sure you could make your thoughts very clear to her without using the expletives. There is no doubt you have had and are continuing to have difficult times, but at 14, you should be able to use more acceptable words. Why not give it a try.

Diva

flumpy · Member

Lauren honey, she may sound a bore to you at your age( i had one too, younger than you are)

but trust me honeypie they do help.

Try taking in some of the thing's you have posted here and let her see how you feel.

You are only a baby, don't be knocked at the first hurdle.....give it time and you will see............don't be another me and let it screw up your whole life.......................................Don't be he next (flumpy)

She is talking sence, just a different language.

Much love flumpy

kitty · ~*Service Worker*~

It is important to find a therapist that you connect with - the first one my parent's went to for marita & Individual counseling (I went w/ my mother one time) -- well, when she saw me she was cold to say the least. (My mom had asked if I could come & she sd, "no"), so she brought me anyway.

It sounded like she was blaming my mother which really pissed me off & when this 'counselor' saw me I could feel her hatred towards me. It was like she had an agenda to bully my mother or something. In that session, she told us, "beer does have nutritional value".

I told her she obviously knew nothing about alkies, addicts or the 12 step programs, I was furious.

It is like finding a "good anything" sometimes it does take more than one, I encourage you to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with & in which you feel as though you are being heard.

love you, sugar, -K

Lauren ashley · Senior Member

ty all..I did what you said...I am gonna get a new therapist

Lauren~

rosie light shines · ~*Service Worker*~

hey lauren, a therapist is like a sponser....if one doesn't work???? find another....if i can't connect i am not going to benefit.....i have to connect/ relate with my sponser/ or therapist (never could afford therapist except christian councelling) it was ok, WAY too much scripture and not enough *whats up with me* but i liked her.......now???? i am not afraid to say "hey this isn't working, lets part friendly" i am very fortunate, i have a great sponser......but it is the same important relationship....therapist has to be able/ willing to LISTEN to you....HEAR you......allow you to come up with what u want/need to do........you are right to want someone you can *relate* with......hugs/ rosie

Emmie11 · Senior Member

Looking for a new one myself sweet girl... know how you feel! Good luck, report back.

nikkilou · Senior Member

Lauren,

I used to work in a medical office. We always gave the names of three to five and tryed to pick people we thoug h would be a good fit. We always said try and if you don't connect try another come back if you want more names. We say try six meeting to find one you like. Why not do the same here to.

Nikkilou

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

Lauren,
Although it is nice to feel connected to a therapist, I would suggest you make sure that the resentments you have for her are valid before therapist hopping. Of course she hasn't walked in your shoes. If that was a requirement for therapists to have lived every different problem that thier clients had, they'd be worse off then the clients.

I'm just going to throw this out for a different perspective.....
You said:
Whenever I do go to therapy..it seems like I am not being heard..and she tlks to much..and I don't wan't her input...and she doesn't understand me..She has not been in my shoes..nor will she ever be

When I first came here I heard things like:
"you can't control it"...Well, who said I was flippin trying to control anything"?

"Quit playing the victim"....Victim, my a**!!..I do NOT play the victim, I'm strong, that's why I've made it this far!

"You are just as affected and crazy as he is"..Bull crap!! I'm not the crazy one, I'm the responsible one that tries to hold everything together!!

"When you start caring enough about yourself , you'll find a meeting"....Who are they to say I don't care about me, they don't know me!!!!

Even though the people here did not walk in my shoes and I resented what was said, it was all true. I'm just saying you might want to check yourself before finding another therapist. Sometimes when people say things we don't want to hear the resentment wall flies up. BAM closed!! We are no longer willing to be open to what others say because we don't want to hear it or admit it.
Just my thoughts.....

P.S...about the language

.........To da corner!!!!!!
((lauren))

love,
Christy
(Cjo)

Lauren ashley · Senior Member

ok..i figured out the prob...all along it has been me..I did not want to deal with my past,and when I am faced with it..I completely shut down..then i try to say its therapists fault..but it is me

its funny bc i have had sooo many therapists..and i like them for the first 3 months because they are trying to get to know me..then after that when they start bringing up the past..i head straight for the door..I am like in denial..or scared or both..i dunno

Running away from my problems only makes things worse i noticed...I end up having a nervous breakdown

Lauren~

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Lauren))))

You go girl!!!
Recognition is acceptance of yourself and acknowledging flaws that you may have. One more step toward healing :)
I think it's just awesome.

There's a saying I picked up along the way..Face, Trace and Erase.
Meaning, face the flaw/fear. Trace it's source, look at it and it's affect on you, then Erase it.
The Erase part is tough, but by facing and tracing, we can see why and how things affect us, recognize it for what it is and try to move forward and let it go.

You're gettin it kiddo!! Proud of you :)

Christy

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.