The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is when it is the hardest time is when he is so sweet. You think to yourself wow this is going to be a good day. He doesn't seem to be getting into trouble today. So you let your guard down and then there you go you are in the same mess again.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Yup, that's the rub. Always getting sucked in by the "good" in them. But nothing changes if nothing changes as they say. Good job keeping the focus on you!
You can not let your gaurd down. He is sick with an illness that has his mind. He is unable to give you what you expect from him. I just say that cause I read you and I see me. I have been where you are, I have given in to his big blue eyes, I have accepted his sorry's and listened to the lies over and over again. and you know what? for me and this is just me, It always ended up the same way every single time. Me crying my eyes out, alone, feeling like I was worth nothing, and that I was no good and could not make it on my own. My A convinced me I was nothing worth anything, he too was very and I mean very verbally abusive to me. One day I just snapped. Hit rock bottom and thought I would rather die right now then feel this way or deal with his shit one more day. *Remeber for me, I had 3 kids that are witness to all of this abuse and all of the tears and are starting to see mommy and daddy fight all the time* I just thought to myself, No one can help me if I dont ask and he will not take me seriously if I keep giving in to him. I made a plan, I stuck to it, and followed through, It has almost been 2yrs since I moved out, *he would never have moved out of our home, he told me you wanna leave go ahead* so I did, and took the kids too. Was not easy trust me, but with help I have mangaged and honey, my life is much better today, and with the tools this program has taught me, Im surviving. I still struggle with him, we share custody of the kids but the best thing for me, is now I can chose when I talk to him and I dont have to listen to his abuse any more. I am and so are you, WORTH IT. We are worth more then we think.
Trust your HP, Pray, meditate, Let it go, do what you can to avoid allowing yourself to be used and abused. You are deserve to give yourself more respect then you are right now.
