The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
last night i saw this movie about a guy who had lived with this woman, she had a baby, a boy, whom the guy thought was his...well he wasn't, she had fooled aroudn on him while they were living together, and needless to say, the *blood tests* didn't matter to this guy.....he adored the boy!!! took her to court and sued for joint custody and won!!!!!! it was an awsome movie..........and i CRIED!!!!!!
i sat there and i sobbed my heart out Bcuz "noone fought for me, when iwas little.....i was incested....beaten.....abused verbally.....torn to SHREDS.....and noone fought for me"
i cried to God this and i sobbed and *let the pain discharge* i held my stuffed froggie and just cried and in between sobs, i said "ok, i will fight for me......i will defend me.....i will get custody of me.......and if all i got is me and my God to fight for me than so be it.....but i am gonna fight for me"
i felt so sad, propped up in bed, all alone, crying because i didn't have anyone "fight for me" so with this program, i will FIGHT FOR ME!!!!!!!! i am tired from crying.....kind of spent!!! i had a HUGE wine cooler afterwards, and i am proud of me that i did not RUN to the wine and get a buzz on.....i allowed the feelings......did some self talk.....had my ONE cooler....no abuse of alcohol...no running to the bottle to numb my pain.....i just *let er rip* i had the cooler, and turned out the lights and went to bed!!!!!!!!
today i am grateful that i can FEEL....that i CAN cry.....that i am going to/ desiring to/ SHALL "fight for me".........i faced my pain....didn't use alcohol to run from it/ self medicate it........i FELT......i can feel................thanks for listening!!!!!! hugs/ rosie
You know what Rosie? Many of us in this room have the same feelings. You are the same as me, when I watch a movie that inspires those feelings, I end up crying and usually write my lover a long sobby letter telling him how much I love him and how grateful that my life has become what I have made it become.
I too have many issues with my childhood, but by the grace of god, I was assisted out of it. I know many many people who had to endure many worse things than i, for much longer than i. I am grateful that God provided me with the means to not have to live in that anymore.
Aron in the Mountains