The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have you ever heard the story of the cocoon and the butterfly?
Basically a man is walking along and sees a cocoon. He stops and looks at it and sees that a butterfly is trying to emerge. He notices that the butterfly is really struggling. It pains the mans heart to see the butterfly struggle, so he thinks to himself, "I will help the butterfly get out of his cocoon." He takes a small knife and carefully slits the cocoon open.
The butterfly is now "free" to come out. The butterfly steps out and stretches its wings. Then the man notices, it walks around in circles but never flys. He goes home to look look up how cocoons/butterflys work. He finds out to his horror, that in helping the butterfly emerge from the cocoon, he has crippled it. It will never fly.
The struggle that a butterfly needs to emerge from the cocoon will strengthen its wings to soar into the air. Now the butterfly is helplessly crippled.
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Think about all the things you are currently doing to help your addicted loved one, then ask yourself......am I really helping him or am I actually crippling him in my attempt to help?
Is this struggle he is going through necessary in order for him to strengthen his wings enough to be able to fly freely?
Am I robbing him of that chance by joining him in his struggle instead of leaving him alone and letting things happen as they are meant to without my interference or *help*?
When I take it upon ourselves to save someone, could it be that actually I am getting in the way of their Higher Powers plan for them by believing I know what's best for them? Do I honestly believe I know better then their Higher Power what they really need?
Have I been playing *God* in someone elses life?
__________________
Kathy S --
~*I trust my Higher Power that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life today.*~
Absolutely an excellent post! A wonderful analogy with the butterfly and the questions to follow. I am going to "steal" this one to share locally! Thank you!
A child counselor had given it to me quite a few years ago.
I was taking the kids to counseling to help deal with alcoholism, but she shared it in regards to an alcoholic as well as raising children. She told me that we grow stronger and learn from our mistakes, and from getting back up when we fall. If we never allow anyone to fall, they will never gain the strength they need in life to get back up.
WOW, kathy that was TOOOO good!!!!! thank you.....reminds me i am doing right with my NA daughter....letting her write her own "life song"...........thanks / rosie
