The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last Friday my car overheated, now I don't know alot about cars so I took it to the mechanic, and rushed off to work (late) ,he fixed the problem (A jammed thermostat), I rushed back to the mechanics after work, picked up the car and was about 10 minutes late picking up the children from school! All while feeling decidedly lousy with the beginnings of a cold.
During down times I sometimes think "Wouldn't it be nice to have a partner I could rely on at times like this" BUT I DID IT! ME!
And I do have someone I can rely on - ME and the love of my children. It turned out I was in bed most of the weekend feeling awful with what turned out to be 'flu and my children bought me water, tea and toast. They did dishes, kept the house reasonably tidy and even did a few loads of washing. How great are they and I have let them know that!
My A visited tonight, and even he could not lower my mood. He was not happy. I actually think he was more than a little put out that I handled a situation that he would have taken care of in the past.
I have so much to be thankful for and I mustn't ever lose sight of that.
Feather, isn't this a wonderful feeling? I was married to an A, and made those same discoveries myself when I could not tolerate his drinking any longer. And the truth was this: I could never rely on him anyway. When a crisis arose, he was usually unavailable to me but available to alcohol. Reliance on yourself and your HP can get you through some amazing stuff.
Isn't it a greta feeling to know that we can do it. My husband always gets angry at that, calls me "Miss Independant". Little does he realize that it is because of him. I could never depend on him, so I learned to depend on me.
Apparently you are doing a great job with your children. Much as we hate doing it, isn't it nice to know that when the tables are turned, they are there for us. That they are loving and responsible enough to want to help out Mom. Sounds like you are a very lucky woman, with wonderful children. Give them a big hug!
Now, there you are! I love this attitude. Yes, when it all washes out in the rain, the one we can depend upon is ourself, ME, #1! You did a great job. Sorry you have been feeling unwell. Hope you are much improved now.
With great caring, Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Congratulations and hope you are feeling better. For me, my Alanon program or my Alanon problem is about learning how to take care of myself. And sometimes that means taking care of the cars (which I HATE doing). I even took a "powder puff" auto mechanics course once. I seem to do well in a crisis, but later, I miss my husband's emotional support. I used to rely on him a great deal in that way. I miss his campionship.
