The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A nice kitchen aid one like my mom had and like my wedding present mixer.
My wedding present mixer is with my alcoholic husband who I am divorcing.
When I left him in May I took nothing and bought all new, I was that upset and desperate.
Since I asked him 3 times for the mixer (I love to bake and he will not use it) he said yes, but still no mixer.
My plans were to spend Sunday morning mountain biking and then Sunday afternoon with my best friend.
My A (sober 4 weeks) called and asked what I was doing and said could he come biking so I agreed to meet him at the park.
We started to ride together and I took the shortcut he likes to do instead of climbing a hill.
There were a few logs.
I jumped 2 then walked over the other ones, they were too tough for me.
My husband jumped all the logs and I said good job just as he jumped the last one, then his tire sank in the dirt and he went over the handlebars. Boy was he mad at the fall and took my praise (given before the fall) as a taunt.
He yelled at me and threw dirt in my face L.
So I told him that was assault and I was calling the police and I hauled fast back to my truck and left.
I went to a different park and rode for 2 hours.
Then I spent the afternoon with my friend.
Then I bought myself a new red mixer and fixings for cookies, I love to bake J
I have learned so much from alanon and I have so much more to learn.
Today I got a sponsor and finally will be able to move forward in my recovery J
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Wow, I relate. I too left it all behind -I too asked for some back. I then bought new -over time. I have learned that even the wedding gifts I left behind it was nice to start new with "my" things on my terms, it feels good.
I am happy you were able to turn an unpleasant situation into a positive one, to keep on riding! You have such strength! Wishes, Tracey
Hi Megan, When I left my A, I too left everything behind, I was able to buy all new too and felt that if I took all that we had together, he would never replace anything. 3 month before I moved out I bought all brand new stainless steel pots, really nice, very expensive, anyways I left it all behind cause I new he would not buy pots...same with the bedding and I also left both the bedrooms intact that my children had. When I bought my new place I bought all new items, my credit cards were maxed and was able to purchase were I was able to charge, after almost 2yrs now, I have no debt, I have been able to pay it all off. It is only just this past few days that my A has decided to replace the couch I left behind which was mine from before we met, it was old and desperatly needed to be cleaned. Anyways his mom told me today that she is buying him a brand new black leather one for christmas, actually she is buying him 2. so that he has lots of seats, he has a large extended family. He still lives in the house that we bought together.
Anyways, I enjoyed having new items that were mine and not "ours". I too used to spend time with him like you did today we used to go to the beach and walk, but it always ended up the same way, him and I fighting, me crying and him freaking out on me. It has been over a yr now since we have done anything joint together. dont even share the bdays for the kids anymore.
Enjoy that new mixer! I have plans for the tangerine one next year. But this past month I decided that instead of drooling over a cast iron piece that cost $150, I would save for it. Well what do you know that I found the one on sale for 1/2 that. While I had to rebudget for the month, it was worth it. Somethings are just meant to be!
It was the perfect day for a ride. Good for you bailing out on him when he got mad. No one you should have to put up with that.
You took what could have been a bad day, into a good one. I'm proud of you. Glad you found a sponsor. You are moving foward and we can all see that by your posts.
Happy Baking!
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
It is hard to change i know because I am doing some changes as well. You are growing which is good. You got a very awsome apt. It has an awsome view. It must be hard to change but you know what you are not alone, you got me, you got this online group, you got your online sponsor which is a great person. You got the face to face group now. You are growing an getting stronger every day. Together we will make it.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
