In time, however most of us find it important to talk about the things that trouble us. In alanon , it is often said that "we are only as sick as our secrets". A key to breaking the stranglehold that alcoholism has on our lives is to begin to open up and let those secrets out. Part of the isolation of this disease is the belief that we are "unique", that no one has done or said or felt the terrible things that we have done, said and felt, and that no one could possibly understand. Therefore, we hide the truth at all costs. Until we challenge this sense of uniqueness by sharing our thoughts with other people who have known the shame and the isolation of alcoholism we may never find out that it is NOT real. As suggested closing to our meetings reminds us, "Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them too". We are not alone, and we need to unlearn the thinking that tells us that no one understands-------this simply isnt true. Not everyone has been where we have been or felt what we have felt, BUT turning to those in alanon who have suffered the effects of alcoholism is different from turning to uninformed friends and relatives. Although our stories may differ, we who live or have lived with alcoholism have a rare understanding of each other. Reaching out to other members is essential because a vital part of recovering from alcoholism's effects is breaking our isolation. To do so we have to muster the courage to share!

I know for myself,,I hid,,the facts , and covered up many times making excuses for the A and myself. I denied the reality of the disease, and went to great lengths to make sure my life was as I "thought" it should be. In the end, the white picket fence wasnt so white, the happy household was not as I imagined, but it was full of chaos, worry, fear, and my desparate attempts to keep myself sane, failed miserabley. My focus on my husband became an obsession, and my sanity was questionable before I came to alanon. My life was hanging by a thread, when I entered those doors of alanon, and I cried for months at each meeting , but I knew for the first time in a very long time, I had found people who understood me, and I was not alone or ashamed anymore. My face to face meetings were going to be temporary,but over 5 years later, my interpretation of temporary has changed. I know for myself and for my mental and physical health, I keep going back, it keeps me balanced, and it keeps my mind in check. With all the insanity this disease brings , it is a blessing to know, there is alanon for us. Keep coming back,,,it works if you work it! I know, because I am here to share.................................gardengal