The material presented
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hey.. just had a mad notion to post my story in this chatroom.
im 24 yrs old and met my recovering alcoholic and drug addict boyf. nearly 2 yrs ago. we were friends for a few weeks then became an item. he told me his background and i accepted his past..as "his past". we got on brilliantly for a year and a bit. then his "old buddies" came back on the scene and his whole attitude changed. they started hanging around when i went to work..and to make a long story short... they took him out and got him drunk. that was it... it was all over. i can't trust him so i cant be around him. he is now in recovery for the 8th time... i didnt know him befor wen he was drinking... so i didnt know what to expect if he ever did... it was a living nightmare...lies..more lies...selling stuff... oh it was endless.. im just weary.. i feel sooo alone and lonely.. we had a future...plans... they are all gone now... how can i get throu this?? any help or ideas please? thanks
Rebecca, your story could have been written by me, except that I was married to my A for nearly 4 years before I knew. Believe me, it is not easy to be in our position. It will tear you apart if you let it. Have you decided to stay with him? If you have, you are going to need lots of help. Al Anon meetings in your town and a place like this to come will be invaluable to you as the thing unfolds. Please come back here often. You will find caring people with whom you can share.
With best wishes, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
diva... thanks for replying so quickly. life will never be the same as it as.. too much s**t has happened and we cant turn back the clock.. he's only 24 also which is hard to see.. it's ubelievable watching him go throu all the stages o drinking.. the doc even told him a month ago he wud't last much longer if he kept drinking coz he was vomiting and passing blood. i have never felt soooo lost before. he is begging forgiveness and saying it wnt happen again... yea right.. i cant take that chance... i cant go throu all this pain again.... its unbearable.. i even lost most of my friend because o it... they were worried for mr...and afraid of him. its like a jekyll and hyde character...its frightening.
Welcome to the message board. I find this place one of the most wonderful best kept secrets on the web. Finally, a place where people face real things with real emotions, and real solutions.
Just a few words before I start my reply. It is custom in Alanon to learn through learning through other people's experience, strength and hope. In alanon we learn to make the decisions that work the best for us, using what we have available at the time to make the decision.
Nobody here will tell you to stay, or leave your boyfriend.
We WILL help you understand the disease of alcoholism, and understand the emotions that you are going through.
No matter your problem, there are those among us who have had them too.
Keep coming back here, and find a meeting.
For me, sanity and clarity didn't come until I discoverd God (my choice of a Higher Power)
I am sure that you love your boyfriend, and am not quite ready to trash all your dreams and what you have built so far.
Find your Higher Power, and hand on for dear life. Faith, Trust, and Humility, that is what works for me.
Again, welcome, and I am looking forward to your future!
You have come to the right place whatever decisions you make with your A we are all here to support and understand you. Have a great weekend. Luv Leo xx
Who will ever know if "I would have done things differently, if I knew then, what I know now." I think I would have. Of course then my life would not be what it is today and I am grateful to have Al Anon.
Only you can decide. Know however that we are worthy of love and respect mutually.
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
((((((rebecca)))))))))) i can totally relate to you. my a and i went from being happily engaged and planning our future together to a year later trying to plan our relationship over again. it is very hard. just wanted to let you know your not alone. keep coming here it helps
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
can you ever really get the trust back? thats the hardest thing. i cant go throu all that again... and if i was honest the same factors are in the situation... he still lives in the same area, the same friends are around, BAD scumbags..not exactly mary poppins types...although these people would help him "pop a few tabs" alrite. we had this perfect live for over a year, had our first xmas 2gether last year and our 1st foreign holiday in summer. then all of a sudden, the friends took a hold over im... we started fighting over it and that was their opportunity to poison his mind of me. he went on a 4 week drinking binge...missing for days,. slappers hanging out with him, laughing at me... he swears he didnt cheat on me...the crying started and it ended in uncontrollable sobbing... but i just cant believe him. i have told him this to his face over and over...and he keeps saying we can work on the trust...but i cant. is it always this hard??
