The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I totally learned something valuable for once in my entire life and that is living each day as if it was your last day. I have found myself so caught up in this fast pace materialistic world that I had forgotten where I came from, and what my values were.
I am not saying I am perfect... I am far from it, but I have made mistakes in my life that I am not proud of,but REMEMBER THIS GOD FORGIVES US... I have such a hard time grasping that phrase.
I also dont like to admit that I am wrong sometimes.... WHY??? well because I am an independent person, and have always been my while life, and now people are trying to tell me stuff. I am not saying that I don't take their advise,but I would learn alot better from learning from my own mistakes, rather than someone picking me up b4 I fall.....
My mom called yesterday... She wanted me to go over. YOu don't know how bad a part of me just wants to go to her and say"""mommy""" but I am trying to teach her a lesson, it is hurting me more than it is hurting her. The lesson is that you can't keep on going in life and pretend nothing happened... I know because I shoved lots of shit under the carpet... and ya know what??? it comes back
I want my mom to know what she is doing now is wrong.. I don't want to be in that environment where there is gonna be drugs and drinking... its just not me, and never will be... I love her but I love her soo much that I have to let her go.. That hurts me soo much becasue shes my mom.. no matter how much shit I talk about her... I need her especially at the crucial point in mylife....
Lauren~
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~life is like a box of chocolates you never know whatcha gonna get~
You are so gifted with your words why don't you put something on paper to your Mum. Post it to her if you have to. Maybe even one of your beautiful poems. You don't need to see her face to face if that is too painful. You have already set the boundaries there. It doesn't matter how old you are sweetie you always want your MUM. That is natural. Keep your chin up. Luv Leo xx
