The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We continue to weigh and measure our food when we are maintaining as well as when we are losing. Since we are compulsive overeaters, we do not have a built in concept of how much food is enough. Exact measurements relieve us of the anxiety of deciding how much is enough. Since we are experts at rationalizing extra amounts, we do not allow ourselves to estimate portions when scales and measuring cups are available.
######ROSIE.....for me it was hoarding....buying more than what i need......my pantry has to be FULL....my refridge is CRAMMED with food....i do this with everything......over purchase, over stock my house if i like a clothing garment, i got to get another!!!! it is born out of my fear of lack......in the *abuse days* the perp would leave us with no food.....he refused to by us decent clothes for school.....he was wealthy and he indulged in himself, but left us kids to do without so many times......so a fear of lack sprouted within me......i *had * lack, so i *expected* lack and to *avoid* that lack, i would *over* purchase to avoid it......i must be healing from this, Bcuz when hurrican katrina hit, i was able to FILL my camper in my truck wiht stuff that i had as a result of my *over stocking* and give it to the hurrican victims.....i still fear lack, but i am doing better.......my hoarding as been out of my desire to *never again* be without!!!!!! not even close.....now i strive to trust in my HP to provide me with what i need AS i need it........its hard........its slow in comming.......i still fear lack and limitation, but i am doing subliminal tapes, saying to me that my HP i smy infinite supply and he blesses me with abundence where ever i go..........i can see that all my shortcommings are born out of fear.......i don't ever remember EVER feeling safe and secure in that *hellhole* of a house........i have much to do, but i am better each day....
For the compulsive overeater, no amount of food is enough. We make a rational decision about our food plan for the day, basing the decision on the objective nutritional requirements of our body rather than subjective emotional cravings. We give this food plan to a qualified sponsor, which prevents us from getting lost in endless preoccupation and anxiety about what we are going to eat.When we conscientiously follow the abstinence guidelines, we can rest secure in the knowledge that we have eaten the right amount of food...........May I be satisfied with enough.
#######ROSIE....for me??? no amount of ANYthing is enoough......my closets are crammed.....as i said above, its *over kill* in keeping supplies....even household cleaners, i have enuf cleaners to start a business....i kept *adding onto the pile* i am getting better, i can walk into a store now and get ONLY what i am REALLY running out of......oh now if there is a close out sale or something????? and i know i am using the product regularly i see nothing wrong with stocking up like that......but what i was doing????? hoarding Bcuz i was terrified of being without......i only need what i need!!!!! and as for eating???? when i feel satisfied/ had enough, i am getting better at stopping.....B4???? i would stuff my self, i would look like a "puffed up poisoned toad" when i was through....thank God for good metabolism and good genes.....otherwise, they would be hanging a sing on my butt when i walked saying "wide load"!!!!!! thank you DONE
I am working very specifically on fear right now, it always seems to find me again and again in recovery, and it always has a different “name” or “different issue” attached to the same name. For example, my fear of abandonment has broken itself down into a bunch of other mini-issues/fears under that name that I have had to confront over the years. I said once, “I no longer have a fear of abandonment,” and someone said back to me, “Then why do you still _(fill in the blank)_ when it comes to your relationships, how you take care of yourself, etc., etc.? That fill-in-the blank encompassed a lot of mini-issues that I was NOT recognizing as ‘leftovers’ from my fear of abandonment, but it was. I may not “fear” the “big umbrella” of abandonment anymore, but that fear had a lot of years to manifest itself in my daily life in my choices and decisions. Just like Love can breed more Love in little ways that are hard to see sometimes, Fear can breed more Fear and show up in all kinds of ways in our day-to-day. And it can get hard to define it as “fear behavior” unless someone points it out to me or in listening to others I see a part of myself in what they are going through. Just like your post right now.
Someone told me that it takes courage to overcome fear. And, I thought, okay, that makes sense; warriors have gone into battle for centuries with nothing but courage to overcome their own death. In fighting a disease, especially one that is life threatening, it takes courage to keep going and not give up on the hope of a full recovery. BUT – What inside ourselves, if it is NOT life threatening give us the courage to face our own fears, big and small, so that we don’t stop ourselves from growing? Because fear can stop us from making progress, it can be debilitating, as I have come to experience over and over again.
Then I read a great line: Courage is fear that has said its prayers. By turning it over to my HP, I am made aware of alternatives to that fear, thus the courage to change the outcome. That is what came to my mind when I read that you gave your overstock to hurricane victims. That was inspiring to me. It took courage to face that fear of lack at that very moment and help others. Which is why I think that fears take patience and time. Because I am not always faced with enough of the right life experiences to address that fear and thereby eliminate it. Your share gave me tremendous insight to that. Just like “choking” in that meeting when I had a fear not to speak up about my own fear. A fear of fear! Imagine that? But it did come full circle, right back to my fear of abandonment. I believe I was able to take a deeper look at that fear because by turning it over to my HP time and time again, I have built more and more courage to face it and change the outcome. Progress not perfection…. With courage comes freedom… And, in God we trust…so TRUE!
Thank you for sharing your gut here. It made me listen to more of myself and dig deeper for other ways my fear take holds of me and the courage to do something, no matter how small it may seem at the time, to make a difference. And, I love the choice you made to face your fear with an outcome that ended up helping others in need to comfort their own fear of lack. Really awesome Rosie! A true example of how courage works in our day-to-day lives and allows our HP to carry out His Will for others and us at the same time. Thanks again….
