The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As Ive said before Ive been pouring out DHs vodka for about 10yrs now and replacing it with water. Ive been told not to do this.
However, Im afraid of what he'll be like if I dont! He does appear to get drunker when the vodka isnt diluted. But maybe this is how he needs to be to realize he needs to get better? Maybe I'll try it this wknd and see how things go (I'll be home for DS) Watch out though cos it aint gonna be easy
Maybe he'll pass out sooner? Who knows?---glad to here someone else out there is doing their own experiments. It is so hard to break our old habits that we use to take care of theirs. best wishes- Jeanne
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
Yep. Sometimes it has to get worse for the alcoholic before it can get better. They have to find their bottom. Then and only then they may change. We are not to interfere with them reaching that bottom as we learn in studying detachment and not pouring out booze.
We have to find our TOP. Continue with your self-care in Alanon. I am glad I have.
These were my prayers: Keep Me Warm, Keep Me Safe, and Keep Me on TOP.
Life does not need to get worse before it gets better if we can re-define "worse" and "better." Every day that we take those baby steps to learn to take better care of ourselves and continue progress in our own recovery with Al-Anon "worse" is by definition already "better." And, you are here, doing exactly that. "Each day is a new adventure in Al-Anon, pointing the way to an ever-better way to live." So, again, life does not get worse from here, not when you are already here, it's already better.
Every day that the A continues to drink, is one more day to the hope and miracle of his own recovery, again "worse" is by definition already "better." Because, it is the only way for him to move toward that miracle. It is easy to assume responsibility for him, even try to manage him. But with Al-Anon we learn to break those habits and not place ourselves in the way of that hope and miracle.
Even though in the thick of it, which can last years, our perception of it and the emotions experienced because of it can make us feel like it is getting worse or will never "get better," the truth is, day by day, it's actually progressing for the "better," one day at a time, in each of your lives as you continue with Al-Anon and he continues to drink.
So, please continue to share, grow, learn and take care of you. And, as many have said before me, and I am sure many to follow me as well, please keep coming back.
