I have two nephews, my husband's brother's kids (two boys, ages 5 and 7). Last year my brother in law and his wife separated. The boys live with their mother. Their father seems to be pretty torn up by their relationship, isn't taking care of himself, and doesn't have anything to do with his kids, let alone with the rest of us.

Lately, the boys have been having trouble in school. The younger one's teacher sends notes home indicating he is having trouble picking up reading skills. The older one isn't keeping up with his assignments. Their mother is very wrapped up in her work and doesn't seem to have time to help them. She is frequently away from home, and leaves them with her mother during the week. They are with this same grandmother on weekends when I see them.

A few months ago I began spending some time on Saturdays with the younger one, working on his reading. Their mother's first language isn't English, and the grandmother doesn't speak English at all, but the kids speak both languages. When I go to help him there is a lot of yelling and screaming in another language on her part. The older child tells me she is disappointed that the younger one is so stupid. The kids both seem to tune it all out. Through the older one I have tried to explain to her he needs time and we need to handle one thing at a time, to no avail.

Lately I've begun taking them to my house on Sundays for the whole day, and spending part of the day working on their homework with them. Then I started going to their house every couple of days in the evening to work with them. There has been some improvement. Their mother never comes out to say hello or anything. Last night she came out to ask me if I could take care of them for three weeks while she is away next month.

I am frustrated by the lack of caring. It would be a miracle if they did not see themselves as a burden to their family, the way they are constantly criticized and shuffled around from one relative to the next. On a good day with no traffic they live a half hour away. When I usually visit them, which is after work for me and before they go to bed, it is usually rush hour. It takes me sometimes close to an hour one way. I feel that supporting them to the best of my ability is something I want to do. But, taking care of them for three weeks is a bit beyond what I think I can do. I can't stay at their house with them because their mom's live-in boyfriend is there (and he doesn't want to take care of them for her). If I take them to my house, it will take me an hour to get them to school in the morning and an hour to get to my office, but then I wouldnt be able to pick them up at the end of the day to bring them home. They go to private school so there are no buses. I recognize the impossibility of the situation, and i know this means they will get left with the overly critical grandmother. I don't think it's an ideal situation, but likely the only thing that can be done for the time being.

Today is a step one day. Powerless. I am coming to terms with the limitations of what I can do. I know that all can do is my best, which is give them my time when I can. I won't be any good to anyone if I attempt more than that. This morning I prayed to my HP that they be taken care of in the ways that are beyond me to handle.

Thanks...just wanted to share what's going on. It's frustrating.