The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reminded recently about compassion for the alcoholic. This was something that I knew about but had not put into practice for a while. I had become angry and resentful towards the alcoholics in my life for the damage they had caused me. I was angry at the disease itself, and the alcoholic. It was easy for me to curse the disease and the alcoholic that suffers from this disease. I was feeding a resentment and becoming a slave to the anger I felt.
While I feel it is important to feel your feelings and to process them, hanging on to the resentment was getting me nowhere. One day someone in the chatroom reminded me about praying for the alcoholic. I had not done this in a long time.
This means I needed to be kind to the alcoholic. I needed to show compassion for them. After all, they do suffer from a disease. Their bodies and minds are ruled by an addiction. It also meant I had to set aside my anger and be nice. To take the focus off their disease and put it on my own reactions to it. Damn, that was hard to do!!!
But as much as the alcoholic suffers from their disease, so do we suffer from our own. When I prayed I was able to pray for them in a loving way. I set aside my own "stinking thinking" to offer prayers and support for the alcoholics in my life. How truly at peace I felt when I turned my anger into love and compassion, and changed my attitude towards their addiction.
My disease of "stinking thinking" towards the alcoholic lost all it's power when I realized I didn't have to be angry with the alcoholic. I could just as easily put the alcoholic and the disease of alcoholism in HP's hands, as well as myself.
Thanks to all the wonderful alanon members that remind me daily of how happy I can be when I let HP lead me through life.
Much Love and Gratitude,
SenoraBob
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Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper.
Thanks ((((((Senora)))))))) great share and one I love to be reminded of also. It is just so darn easy to fall back into that old behavior of anger and disgust, so I'm always glad to hear shares like this that make me remember, that make me look at my own part. Every time I see this topic the picture of my A sitting on the bed in angry tears saying "God! I wish I could just stay sober for just a little while!!" flashes into my head. The loathing, the self-disgust, the despair in his voice .... it darn near broke my heart. I hope he finds recovery one day. I hope I always remember to have compassion and remember how hard it has been for me to change myself. Habits are hard to break. A habit coupled with a disease must be even harder. Thank you for letting HP speak thru you to me. Love ya!!
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
I have been doing some pretty heavy "stinkin' thinkin" myself this weekend about my ex. Thanks for the reminder about praying for those we might not exactly like too much.
Thanks for being the messenger. I've been doing some "stinking thinking" of my own. I forgot to pray for my A in the midst of the broken promises and disappointment. All it caused me to do was build more resentment. UGH!! I better pray for me too!!! Pray that I keep this program close and quit sliding in to my old ways.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
My "light bulb" experience today was that my A has a HP too. So with my stinkin thinkin I might be getting in the way of his HP helping him out. I even had a vision of my HP talking to his HP. I have trouble seeing my husband in a positive light because of what he has done to our marriage but I have to realize that his reality is different from mine. He is only doing what he thinks is right. I will hold him in warm personal regard tonight. Thanks for your post.
I could just as easily put the alcoholic and the disease of alcoholism in HP's hands, as well as myself. 
