Hi, I am sure right now you could use a big hug.....it's been over a year since my A did close to the same thing that happened at your house last year, however I threw a phone.  I truly was aiming at the wall behind my A, he was laying down and lifted up to adjust his body.  He was saying horrible things, that he would take my car; that me and the boys would no longer have a home, the whole time I was talking on the cordless with my mother.  He was screaming at me, had been drinking for 10 or 11 hours.  When he said I was out whoring around on him, I couldn't stand it and threw the phone.....I saw the phone go in slow motion, like when you have a car accident, anyway, it hit him in the head, right at the hairline I knew it was a bad thing, it was the first time I had thrown something, I have slammed doors, pushed him, and slapped him in his drunken state.  He called 911 and I went to jail.  I knew at the instant my life was going to change.  That is when I realized Step 1.  I was out of control; this is not the person I wanted to be.  I voluntarily took Anger Management, however the court did not feel that was enough, I now have over 7 months of Domestic Violence classes.  My counselor told me in the beginning that she didn't think I was a batterer but that I have learned behaviors because of living with an active alcoholic/drug abuser that I needed to learn more skills.  I am blessed with the fact that my A called 911.  The fights were escalating and my life was so very unmangable.  I wanted to share this with you because I have been where you are and it all can change.  I was doing the same thing over and over and over and nothing was changing.  Now I have skills that help me, I have learned to set boundaries, and not give in to my A bullying me into getting what he wants.  Hang in there.

Hugs Mary