The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks to everyone for responding to my post yesterday - I really appreicate it.
After I posted last night, I remembered there was a meeting nearby, and I decided to go (all those meetings where I've heard "if you're thinking about going to a meeting you should probably go" kicked in for me.. lol). The topic was "faith" and it was exactly what I needed to hear last night. Couldn't have been more dead on. And I felt worlds better afterwards.
I was reminded that faith isn't a blind decision. That it's something I choose to have. Not because I'm weak, but because I know I'm not the architect of the universe and there's the possibility there are bigger plans out there for me than I can know at any given moment. Someone said, "Fear knocked at the door, Faith answered, and no one was there." Boy, I inked that into my brain and I hope I remember it and can call on it when I need to hear that again. I have the choice to worry my way through or to trust it will work out for me if I take the next step.
I like to share the story about my dog when I took her to puppy school. She wouldn't walk next to me. She pulled ahead and tried to drag me down the street. I asked the teacher how to get her to walk next to me. She said my dog drags me down the street because she doesn't believe I will protect her and be ready to protect her from what lies ahead. And to get her to walk next to me I need to remind her I am in charge and allow her to learn I will take care of her. She cautioned me to do this gently and to reward her when she showed me the behavior I was trying to get her to assume. It took a long time for her to walk next to me, but she eventually she learned, and today she still walks next to me. Except for when she sees a squirrel and forgets ... lol. But, it has occurred to me my dog and I are a lot alike. I dragged myself and everyone around me down the street with me before I learned about my HP in this program. Before I learned about faith.
So...I guess I'm been seeing a few squirrels and going after them lately...lol. I'm grateful for that meeting and for all of you for helping me see the choices in front of me. I feel much better today.
Thanks for this share. I'm going through a tough time in not knowing where our life is going. My recovering A is unemployed and actively looking for a new job with little success. I've really had to work hard at trusting my HP that things will work out. I was starting to get frantic about bills and financial issues. Your share reinforced the faith I have to keep. Thanks.
