The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you all for your input in my last two posts. As always they were very helpful and insightful. More importantly, they made me think about decisions I have to make in my own life to benefit me. Wow, I just realized what I said in that last statement...I put me first! I think I am on the right track with what I plan to do with my life and the life of my ex, the "A". Here goes:
1- I am going to continue to rely on my HP to guide me through my life day by day. To continue this relationship with Him as it grows between us.
2- I am going to continue participating in this site because I have found, for the first time in my 47 years of life, people who understand me and my feelings. I finally feel like I "belong".
3- I will continue to attend my al-anon meetings and go to my 1-on-1 counseling, even though I am going to get a new counselor, I don't feel we click.
4- As far as the life or lack there of concerning my A, the choices he makes are exactly that, his choices. It still hurts me not being with him, I love himand I miss him terribly, but I cannot save him from himself. His choices are basically very simple, only two actually. Quit drinking or die alone.
5- I am not going to attend couples counseling with him as long as he is actively drinking. If he can ever show some progress that he initiated himself such as AA or counseling and I see that he is serious and doing it for the right reasons which would be for himself and not to appease anyone, then and only then will I consider couples counseling. Thank you canadianguy for opening my eyes to that one!
6- I am going to end my list here and give you all the hugs you all deserve (((((hugs))))). Heck, I am even going to give one to me ((hadit)).
Thank you all soooooooo much for being here for me.
Great list, and great focus!! I particularly like the fact that you are writing it down, to help hold YOURSELF accountable (to you), cuz it can be sooooo easy to slide from what we KNOW is the right thing!!
Your post inspires me!
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Yes, yes, yes... your focus is on you, you are among friends & (Just like my mother said) why attend marriage therapy when the A doesn't know what he wants nor will he commit to aything. I get so inspired when I am Blessed to witness someone else's resolve! To see & feel the cognitive shift - thank you for sharing & I encourage you to keep writing, praying & coming here among your friends & "famly".
I got a rush of hope reading your post, thanks for sharing!
love, -k
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
