The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My hubby still is not sober, but MY changed attitude was shown clearly today.
We had to punish our children for quite a severe lie today, and we actually sat at the table and talked it out, finding the best solution we could think of.
He is not in a program. MY CHANGED ATTITUDE aided recovery in the area of discipline of our children. For the first time he didn't lash out in anger. And I didn't protect the kids from their punishment.
Just wanted to post that for people who think that things won't change if their A doesn't find a program.
This sounds like a familiar scene at my house. It is nice when you and your H can be on the same team (vs the kids). We go thru a lot of discussions about kid problems at my house. My H tends to be more bothered by the little stuff (their rooms being messy,how or what they eat at dinner) I have a hard time agreeing with him on those situations. When it comes to the big ones, though, we tend to team up better. My H is not in a program but is currently not using either. I think that one of the ways that he has been able to maintain some sobriety lately is that he has seen #1-that I NEED his input with these kids--he can't just veg on the couch! and #2- He needs to participate CONSISTANTLY--- not just "go off" on them when he feels like it. Where alanon has helped me the most is to make me think before I talk--and take the blaming out of the picture. Like you, I realize that I can't change him--but we can still work on mutual goals, even though everything isn't "perfect".
take care and keep up the good work- Jeanne
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
