The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all again, okay so i guess i need to look for my sponsor on my own, but i would like afew words of wisdom. I know that finding one is not as easy as some might say or lead you to believe. pls anyone......just talk to me.....lol no really, im just want to move out side of the chatroom abit and share one on one. thx all....
Looking for an online sponsor is a little difficult. I believe the best way to attempt this would be to go into the chat room for a while and when you have met some one that you connect with and feel comfortable with then contact them through pm and ask them if they are willing to sponsor you online.
I am sory that your sponsor has been gone for so long and I hope that she comes back and that you can talk to her..
Sharing here has been helpfull for me and the support has been great. Keep in mind that many here are new commers and don't feel they have the experience to sponsor but hopefully an experienced alanoner with more time in the program will come along and read your post.
I am very sorry, you didnt have to change your post. Its ok to ask for a online sponser here people do. I was just giving you experience and some other options. There have been sponsers and sponsees that came together because of asking here on the board. I was telling you that to find one that you connect with and that you can trust and can feel comfortable with. It takes time. It is hard in chat online because you dont know who is able to sponser or not so there is nothing wrong with asking here im sorry sunny i didnt mean to make you think that no one would respond i said you may not get a response and you may i didnt mean for you to change your mind. I didnt mean to give advice either im so very sorry i hope you can forgive me. I hope you find a sponser soon (((((((((hugs)))))))))
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Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
I just wanted to tell you that I relate to you in wanting to find a sponsor. I am currently with my 3rd ftf sponsor. The first one I chose didn't work out because my picker was broken. The 2nd one was great, but we kinda drifted apart - my fault. At any rate, after much listening & prayer to my HP, I felt I could tell this person anything. I have found it to be true and as an added blessing have found that even on the worst days I can be totally honest & she accepts me totally as I am - unconditionally. This has taught me that I am worthy & ok just as I am - acceptance. I had a few things in mind when I was listening in those meetings & found a great person as a result of all those months of listening. I tell you this to say, don't give up. I know it's easy for me to say, but I put some prayer behind it as well.
sometimes it is hard to remember that sponsors are just people in recovery too... i often expect my sponsor to be there 24/7 and to have all the answers to boot!!! Bottom line is, she has her own life, but i gotta say, when she is not available, i have other alanon friends that know me and i know what kinda program they got that i can turn to when i need them. That has been invaluable when i really needed someone and my sponsor was not available. There is a handout on sponsorship available at f2f meetings that explains a bit what sponsorship is, i found that very helpful too. When it comes to online sponsorship, others have said that they listened in meetings and if they heard someone they thought they might like to have sponsor them, they went to the board here and found something they posted.... if you click on a members name, you get a list of all the things that person has posted infact. Seems a good way to get to know a persons program in a quick hurry that's for sure. I personally recommend starting with a new sponsor on a temp. type status.... that way if he/she is not who you need, the relationship can very easily turn into one of those friends that are there for you when your perm. sponsor is not available.
It's great you're looking for a sponsor, and I hope you find one soon that meets your needs. Try and be patient with it. Sometimes it takes a while and some false starts, but you will find someone you can work with and grow with.
I have a couple of suggestions about choosing a sponsor, and I'll share them with you in case you find them helpful. It is often suggested in meetings that we choose a same-sex sponsor and that we choose someone who has worked the twelve steps with a sponsor themselves. I thought both of these points didn't apply to me when I started, and in the process of working the steps myself found out they did. Thanks to this program I've learned there are no mistakes just opportunities to make new choices and take a new course, and I have.
It's also suggested to choose a sponsor because he or she has "what you want." In choosing my second sponsor, I didn't know who to ask. But I asked someone with a good sense of humor. I have tended to have sense of humor that in one way or another puts others down to bring myself up, and so I asked this woman to be my sponsor because her wit was funny and didn't have the negative flair I had often seen in my own. We are still getting to know each other but it has been a great relationship so far.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, as with anything in Alanon there are no "rules" just suggestions. Go with your gut and you will be fine. And remember to have fun :)
thank you all for your input...i appriciate all of your comments.
Funny thing....I got a reply from someone, who read my story and she contacted me. We have similar stories, 3kids, same kind of dog... anyways, so far so good. I look forward to working with her. I will contiue my search for another f2f sponsor. You were right, sponsors are people too with their own life!.....
