The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
New AA members are sometimes advised to do 90 meetings in their first 90 days. I know this doesn't happen as much in Al-Anon because in a lot of areas there aren't enough Al-Anon meetings for that to be possible.
I am fortunate to live near a few major cities -- I've made a list of meetings, and it would be possible (a little complicated, but definitely possible) for me to go to an Al-Anon meeting every day.
Has anybody here tried to do an Al-Anon 90-90 before? Is a 90-90 really as big of a transformative experience as AA members make it sound like?
It's not absolutely necessary to do 90 in 90, if you can I would think yes it would be transformational if nothing else because hearing people's stories and really focusing on your healing is always a positive thing. :) Right now because of summer, the kids and different schedules I can't always make meetings as easily as I can during the fall, winter and spring months. I know how I feel after a meeting and I always feel a LOT better. It's a good reminder to continue to work on myself as well as positive affirmation that I am really worth the time and I deserve to feel better, as well as happy. I come out feeling a lot more grounded in my situation. I do try 1 to 2 meetings a week, I've started coming to the online ones although I've only done one so far. Timing again .. lol .. last meeting I was half in and half out of the conversation, kids, bed time and so on .. I really enjoyed what people had to share. The nice thing was I could pick up where I had left off.
Do the best you can, personally my opinion and how I am, once something becomes a chore it's more likely for me to drop out of doing the work. I've burnt myself up and out feeling worse than I did to begin with. So do it because it's what you want to do not a "have to" that leaves you feeling down. I don't know if that makes sense. I really believe leaving an alanon meeting should be like a trip to the therapist you should leave feeling more positive not worse or more frustrated.
Hugs and keep on coming back because you are worth it. :) P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
By the time I arrived at an Al-Anon meeting, I didn't feel the need to do the 90 meetings in 90 days. But in order to find the "right fit" for me, I did attend 6 different meetings in my immediate area (12-mile radius) and found only 1 of those meeting places to my liking. I also found that many of the same people attend just about all the meetings.
I hear some members state that they need more. One woman, for example, was going to several each day because she said she always felt better. She did this for about 2 months and now I see her only about twice a month at my home group, which is my only group for now.
For me, attending 1 meeting per week meets me needs. In addition, I read daily for Al-Anon literature (One Day at A time & Courage to Change). I read the daily passages and reflect on them, sometimes throughout the day. Whoops! I also come here to MIP and read posts.
In short, in depends on the needs of the individual (I think). My suggestion is to not get a fixed idea into your head; that is, it's best to be flexible in your thinking and experimental. Try something, see how it feels and decide if it's a good fit for you.
Take good care, Gail
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I know the more meetings I do the better i feel. When I go away to conventions for a long weekend I feel so spiritually well when I get hom. My old sponsor told me to take my al anon medicene when ever I needed it go to meetings, talk on the phone, read come on here etc etc. She also told me miss a meting for a week and you become weak.
I know when I am older and have a lot less responsibility i will go to lots of meetings and do lots of service however we all have to find the right balance for ourselves. I was going to too many meetings in a aweek as i am a single mum and work full time, Al anon tells us to keep it simple and take it easy but my life became little unmanageable now I do two meetings but I read every day and talk on the phone when i need to. Wish I had the time to do 90 in 90 I bet it would be amazing.
I am like Gail and Pushka, I only get to about 1 meeting a week. I do have a sponsor now though so that helps too. Do what feels good for you. Keep coming, keep reading and remember you are worth it!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
When I got into program I did 102 meetings in 90 days. All of us could because there were soooo many meeting in the tri-county area we lived in. Doing all the meetings in 90 days falls right within "how to change a habit"...do something different 90 days in a row and you're likely to create a different habit...dysfunction into right function. It worked for me and my HP and I like the outcome. (((hugs)))
For me I attended five meetings per week when I was a newcomer. I am fortunate to be in a group that has 21 meetings per week so I had different types of meetings to choose from. I would have attended more, but I have young children to look after and it was just impossible.
Today I attend seven meetings per week and I feel like my wings are level and maintain some balance and perspective in my life. I think it is up to the individual to determine what they need rather than to follow a particular number.
The most I do is two meetings a week. That fits my schedule and it is comfortable for me. As everyone mentioned, we all have to decide what works for our individual case. I find that reading the literatures, talking to my sponsors and reaching out to other members really helps, and online sharing on this forum is invaluable. Hope that helps. Blessings.
I am not a big believer in the 90 in 90 suggestion. No where in the big book of AA does it suggest that at all. I have the believe that suggestion originated from treatment centres.
I did not have the opportunity to go to more than one meeting a week when I started. I would have gone to more had I been able to do so, but would not stress myself out over making a meeting every day.
We have lives, jobs, children and daily responsibilities cannot just be dropped so I didn't make as many as I wanted.
Calling a sponsor, reading some litterature, and going on a site like this are all part of the AA, Al-anon programs. I talk on the phone while my child is home with me, listen to an Al-anon speaker on my phone and work my program all day. I don't have to be in a meeting to do that.
