The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
help me i am slipping so much right now and i dont know what to do. i have so much intense fear. my a admitted that he doesnt think he can stay sober and he will drink again. he said he wont get help. so what do i do with this? it's his choice and i cant do anything about it. i am so hurt and scared right now. scared because i think i will have to make the desicion to leave very soon. everyone here has told me not to make any drastic desisions within the first six months of this program. but how can i go on like this? how can i stop my hurt? i pray every second. i try to think positive but i still feel so ill. i am so upset because i dont want to lose my a. i love him. when he's sober that is. when he is active i hate him more then anything. i just dont know what to do. i am coming here to help myself. i will go to f2f as soon as i can and i am ready. but until then what can i do to get through this?
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
sorry you are feeling so awful. Its back to step 1 time. Detach detach detach. You do not have to leave to detach. Your A knows how you feel. He knows what his choices are. Allow him the dignity of making his own grown-up choices. You have choices too. Realize that controlling or curing his A problem is NOT one of your choices to make. He's got to do it for himself. I know that is so hard to hear, cuz we want to help so badly. Leave it to your HP and his HP. We never realize how weak our faith is until these crisis moments. Prayer is good--and you're doing it. Hang in there-one day,one hour, one minute at a time
Jeanne
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
First of all, step back for a second, and take a deep breath.
Jeanne is right, you have to learn how love with detachment. So it's all about you and focusing on your recovery. He's going to do what he's going to. Nothing you can do about my friend. But you can do something about you. I really think that getting some f2f meetings is going to be beneficial. Have you read the chapter on wives in the AA Blue Book? Go online and read it. It's helpful. Lois Remembers is also very good.
You'll be okay. I love my A too and we're getting through this just fine.
Sending you love and prayers .
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
My husband was sober for six months and then he went back to drinking. He still hasn't gone back to the program an is still drinking. But for me I am working on myself. I am posting here on the internet. I go to a least one face to face meetings. It has helped me. When you are ready you will get alot from the face to face. In the begin I didn't want to go to face to face. I was scared I didn't want to go. The people online here told me that even though I am on the online chat room it isn't the same as the face to face and they were right. I have tried to call people when he gets drunk to keep my cool. Hope all works out for you.
Take a nice baths, light some candles, take care of your self for a least 5 mins.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
and prayers 
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