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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Please help explain
Post Info TOPIC: Please help explain
zpo


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Please help explain
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My husband and I caught my step-daughter high, we kicked her out, stopped paying for her cell phone, but still pay for her car insurance.  Hubby won't stop... what can I do to make him see?  Nothing I say is working!



-- Edited by zpo on Friday 15th of July 2011 02:22:24 PM

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Debilyn


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Is the car in your or husbands name? Is she a minor?



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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zpo


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RE: Please help explain about car insurance
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She'a 24, has a new job which sometimes has her working at night.  Hubby worries for her safety so has always enabled her to keep a car.  I have strongly disagreed and put up many protests but to no avail.  She was doing so well clean so I didn't mind, but then she meets some skater, junky guy and relaspses.  The usual story for her.  We live in Huntington Beach CA, so there are buses if she needs them.  Her car is finally out of our name.  We want to support her being able to go to work and home ok, but I feel, the more time on the bus, the less time making trouble or meeting junky boyfriends.  But then again, it can be dangerous on a bus at night.



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Jerry F


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RE: Please help explain
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Part of recovery for me is protecting myself from the negative consequences of the alcoholic/addicts choices.  I drew a line between my things and her things.  I was responsible for mine and she was or wasn't responsible for hers...  Anything else for me is enabling.   Tough Love post prior to these is a goodie....(((((hugs))))) smile



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Debilyn


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Seems like it is harder for men to let go.

My thought is, when she gets a dui, and or gets into a wreck, would that not effect your insurance?

Does he want to be responsible for the consequences of her behavior?

We cannot control anyone but us. In saying that, I would get my car insured in my name separate since you choose not to be a part of this,

He then is completely responsible, it is entirely his choice.Would be a huge rock out of your pocket!

love,deb



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
zpo


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Thanks for the replies... I believe we have agreed to pay to the end of the month then cancel her.  If he doesn't do it, I'm going to do what you recommended.  Thanks!!  XOXO



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tommyecat


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zpo, thanks for sharing.  Please keep coming back.



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youfoundme


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zpo, keep coming! Alanon is for you to recover from the affects of someone else using or drinking. I have lived with a junky before, its not fun. Take care of you!

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Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
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