The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold. --Ruth P. Freedman
We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring.Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll discover freedom.
#######ROSIE.....well of course the most **stand out* event in my life was my abuse and being incested!!!! that did contribute to my overall development first in a negative way, and now, had it not happend??? had i just got **normally* abused like my siblings...i may have never been **driven into recovery* and like a couple of them i would be living maybe a **half life* instead of the potential for a full one as i am now.....i never thought that i would say that **good* did come out of such a horrific crime against me, but it did!!! i became a compassionate/ loving/ cruisader for love/hope/healing because of it....i became someone i really/ trully like!!!!!! trust??? i am willing to trust SAFE others in time--when i see that they are trustworthy....in increments....like a ladder--one rung at a time....i may always have trust issues, but i can manage it....the worst case scenario about my shortcommings is that at LEAST i'll be able to manage them and distance myself from them enough to be ok
Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and leave the outcome where it belongs.I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will do my part, and no more.
#######ROSIE....i am now to the point i can **let go---detach* from the evil put upon me....NOW it is my desire to not dwell on the perp and the darkness...but focus on ME/ and reversing the evil, by aiding the good!!!!!! i know he left behind death and destruction and dispair!!!! that was his legacy!!! ......i want to and i AM spreading behind me hope and healing and happiness..that SHALL be my legacy.....this crime done against me came within a hairs breadth of killing me or driving me hoplessly insane, but you know i am like a weed!!!! i got stomped on...i got chopped down to the root.....i got sprayed with all KINDS of poison.....but i just kept **poppin up* and now i am flourishing.....i liken myself to a dandelion!!!! you can find me in the cracks in the concrete of a run down old impoverished neighborhood OR peaking up at the sun, on some well manicured lawn in some high class tennis club!!!!!! i SHALL do my part because i DO let go and trust that my **life chart* is unfolding accordingly to plan!!!!!! thank you DONE!!!!
Thank you for this very powerful awesome share! I was molested as a child at 7 and I did need alot of therapy years later. You seem to be in a good place now and one that you can share like you just did and give others hope. Thanks again for this post. cdb :)
Rosie, again you remind me of something I would like to share... my own mother's "dandelion theory".
She says we are all like dandelions with thousands of little deliocate fibers reaching out symmetrically, each one slowly unfolding & reaching out. Along the way through hurt words & painful experiences to our psyche's we become mishapen weirdly deformed, burned scorched little damaged products of life. She maintains that if we keep trying to be those perfectly round soft frawns, we can & do have the power to heal. It takes a lot of work & effort and it is painful but who wants to be deformed & mangled? Besides if you don't repair yourself, the abuser "wins".
It sounds like you are reaching out & repairing your perfect symmetry & it is so beautiful to be blessed to hear about your progress. TFS
I know it is crazy but knowing about my step-father's infidelity bomb has helped me face a lot of things too... some good came out of it, immediately for me. First of all I felt relief from these ambiguous feelings of guilt & shame that I was clearly picking up from him. I'm an honest person, I work hard on myself, I face myself & share my feelings. I've never cheatted on anyone & I don't lie. But the truth was I was depressed & I had no idea why, I felt hopeless for no apparent reason. I fantasized about *not being here*.
When I was married I never wanted my (addicted) ex to get the better of me. I would never commit suicide over him, that would give him the ultimate power over my life. Same as when I threatened my dad & told him I could rip him to pieces with my bare hands... it made me feel less angry to express that to him but I told him he wasn't worth killing (or going to jail for) besides as a person raised as a vegetarian for the last 30 years, murder is against a core belief for living! (d'uh).
Finding this Board has been a blessing... I am facing my co-depency daily and slowly learning how to live for me. I have given up being angry at myself for wasting the last 19 years, I am forgiving myself & learning to value what my own opinion over anyone else's.
I am just a human being. I am growing. Yes it hurts but it is better to have pain of growth than pain of decay (<-- another great one of my mother's mantras). God is testing us all to rely on him.
I appreciate your support.
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
