The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Unfortunately you will probably not get honest answers from your Mother if you ask "why". Alcoholics aren't good at admitting much or owning up to being wrong. Their state of denial overtakes reasonable thinking.
You sure can let her know that you are upset and how you feel. But try to keep the focus on you and just your feelings and not condemn her. She beats herself up with booze, she doesn't need added words. Maybe you could write her a letter?
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I just read your post and looked up some of your earlier ones. My heart just breakes for you, you see my granddaughter who is 10 is going through the same thing, She is also with her grandmother, for a year or until her mom gets better. I pick her up from school and she stays for dinner then her other grandmother picks her up and brings her to her home as I work very early in the mornings so she can't stay with me at night. She is also doing good in school, they say she's a model student. She talks about her mom (my daughter) sometimes and says it makes her sad. I know her mom loves her just as your mom loves you. My granddaughter writes a lot of her feelings down she finds it helps to put her feelings on paper. I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel better. I'm going to ask my granddaughter to read you post so she can see that she is not alone in this and your not alone in this. I just pray that your mom get better and you can feel happy again and you will one day.
I too think writing a letter would be a good idea. You have all these feelings bottled up inside and keep wondering what is the right thing to do. You will find that everything will start to flow as you are writing and that will be healing for you as well. You don't have to be perfect all the time sweetie. We as adults make mistakes all the time. Thinking of you. Luv Leo
Sorry, I don't know your age. Alateen would be wonderful for you. I'm not sure if other posters have told you about it. Maybe your Grandmother can take you to learn about Alateen.
Love to you,
safe hugs and know we all care about you very much here.