The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I got REALLY tested on how much I **love me/ accept me/ forgive me* listen to THIS!!!!
This am, I go to sam’s club to buy dog food/ beer/ berries for my smoothies, and I see this totally **awesome* dvd on “into the west” chronicalling two families….1 white 1 lakota Sioux and I was waiting for it….i grabbed it and as you know at sam’s there is no **bagging* you grab boxes on your own, as you are leaving, but half the times I just unload from the cart in the back of my truck and I go!!!
I got to the office and oh my God!!! I can’t remember unloading my dvd from the cart to my car!!! Like “BOING” I forgot!!!!!
I was heartbroken!!! $30 shot down the tubes….i think “ok I can drive back to sam’s and HOPE the thing is still there but no way!!” I made the 2 mile drive anyway, in the crazy hope that it would be still in the cart….yeah right!! On the way over there, I am saying “ok, we can’t replace it…you just have to do without and I HOPE this teaches you to slow down…I am not going to get on you cause I figure loss of movie is lesson enough” and as I drove I prayed to God , “please let this be the lesson that teaches me to **slow down* and **think* not just work my hands, with no brain behind it” I prayed “no more painful lessons to slow down, please let this lesson be it” I told myself that I will get over it, I will be alright, but this is what happens when you do stuff with no thinking / paying attention behind it
I got to sam’s …carts were aplenty and no dvd in the front part…on a hunch, I go into the store and the guy at the door (recognized me) says “hi” and I told him what I did…he told me to try the lost and found …I went there, with no real hope and WAAA HOOO someone had taken it to the lost and found…..i didn’t have my receipt on me, but I did have my card…they traced it/ gave me new receipt/ and my cd and I walked out into the sunshine, AFTER I said a prayer, blessing the honest soul who returned my cd to the lost and found
As I am driving back I am thanking God for the good soul and my hp for protecting me on this one
And than it hit me!!! I did not go ballistics on myself….yes, for a fleeting moment I got mad at me but I was mature and calm and forgiving about it….i did not self abuse I did not insult myself or hit myself like I used to do….i actually had forgiveness for me and this was BEFORE I got my dvd….i did NOT abuse me!! I did NOT do anything bad to me!!! I forgave me!!! I treated me like a human being!!!! I am recovering from the self abuser!!!! I made ** huge—jugondous*---like immense progress!!!!
I just had to tell you guys, this is working!!!! I am finally learning to love me!!!!!
I am gonna treat myself to something nice!!!! Don’t know what cause I am flat busted till pay day , but I’ll come up with something!!!! Hugs, to all, rosie
I like the part about lessons to make you slow down and think - I could use that too!
And, you also got another little lesson on trusting - there really ARE some good people in the world - the one who returned it, the fellow who recognized you, and the store clerk who took the trouble to look up your reciept! What a special day you had. Take care, and enjoy the movie.
Thanks for sharing your positive situation with me :) It is so great when people can see the changes they are making in themselves and appreciate it too. If we don't give ourselves a pat on the back no one else may do it. Way to work your program as you continue your journey to a new you :) your friend in recovery, cdb
