The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am hurting so much. I feel like my heart has been torn into pieces.
My mom is back together with her ex. I truley hat her ex. He has put her in the hospital before and is a really bad drunk/druggie. I dont know why she is with him. The last few times that I have talked to her she has been drunk and has been really mean. Today we got a call the said she and her boyfriend/ex got into a big fight and she got him arrested. I havent talked to her in a couple of days.
This guy that she is/was dating is really strange. If he doesnt have alcohol in him then he will litleraly shake. Whenever I see him I start to shake and cry but I have no idea why. Sometimes I think that he is the devil but put on earth to torcher us all.
I just told my grandma (my gardiun) that next time she calls to say that I am not ready to talk to her. Im just tired of all the stuff that keeps going on. It really hurts.
Is it ok to say that I am not ready to talk to her??
Of course it's okay to say you're not ready to talk to her, I admire your courage as that's not an easy thing to do. You have set boundaries and that's a good thing. Take care of you, you're awesome!
Hang in there sweetie. I am so glad you have Grandma to give you a hug she probably needs a big one as well. Yes you are doing the right thing. You set the terms of how you want to deal with Mum's drinking. Remember it is okay to put yourself first. Thinking of you and we are all here for you if you need us.
I am really proud of how mature you are to set emotional boundaries with your mom!!! That is great, I am in my 40's and just starting to set boundaries....Anyway I wanted you to know that I had a huge fight with my husband, which is my A in my life, last year. I went to jail. It took that for me to realize how unmanageable my life had become because of alcohol/drugs that someone else was using. I had to own my own behavior, I did a voluntary anger management which I did learn a lot from but our state required me to one year of domestic violence treatment. I started the program with a bad outlook, but quickly decided that if I could learn one thing out of the program it would be worth it. Guess what? I am so much stronger. I like myself again. I unlearned bad behavior and bad thinking processes. I realized how important I am. That if I don't take care of me, then who will? AND the best thing I learned is that my feelings are just as important as anybody else’s. I also know how hard it is to watch someone you love hurt so bad. It is easy for us on the outside to see how "easy" it would be for others to change but remember the three C's, You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Hang in there. Do something nice for you!!!!
