The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a little angry right now, and for once it is not directed at my "A", LOL! Joke-
Anyway,
We had a two week orientation start at work today, and something really lovely, not, came out today.
Let me give ya all a little background.--- I work for a non-profit agency that helps people who are on TANF (Temporary Assistance For Needy Families, aka: Welfare) gain skills to become employable and find a job that will help them leave TANF. Most of our clients have either never had a job because they were stay at home moms that now have to work, people who have never had a job before, people who have hurt themselves so now they need a new career, and so on. I love my job, I love what I do, I was a client with this same company years ago, and now I have a chance to give to the people who helped me.
Anyway-,
Now some of my ex-clients are now my co-workers, back to orientation day1. Someone heard two of my ex-clients and another guy who came through this program, but he had a different employment counselor, talking about me. And how I don't do my job. One of them said I got her in trouble for not doing my job. As it turns out this girl did get in trouble, by something I said to her case manager at DSHS. The file clerk in our office filed a paper belonging to someone else in this girl's file! When the mistake was caught I apologized to the girl that was wronged and I even called her case manager, sorry they are now called placement specialist, and let her know that the girl was following through and I said the mistake was a clerical one. The outcome of my phone call to this girl's placement specialist at DSHS was that she had to start an activity that she would have needed to start in two weeks anyway, so she just started earlier. Well this is what was beign said while a bunch of people were out smoking!
I am hurt and angry and embarassed.
Tomorrow I am going to go to the three people and let them know that I don't appreciate being bad mouthed in front of other people and if they had a problem with me then they should come to me and not act like they were in grade school. After that I am going to go to my supervisor and let them know how I handled the situation and that we (the whole group) are sadly in need of a gossip talk and the dangers of gossiping. In our agency our supervisors ask that we go to the "gossiper" and try to work things out. I have no intention of saying who said what and all that unless I am asked a direct question.
Oh and the whole reason why I believe the person who told me this was said would have no way of knowing the story about this girl unless she heard it from her. We have confidentiality policies, and I didn't say a word.
Thanks for being here, just had to vent!
Much Love,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
It sounds like you are the mature one in the group here. Your are right. There is no need for gossip like that at work and if you have a policy then something needs to be done. We sure cannot change people or prevent gossip, but we can take action that we need to take for our own selves. Way to take care of you :) WE are only human and do make mistakes. It is so nice that we can make amends and go on with life. I am happy that you enjoy your job. So many people do not like their jobs. I use to work in a helping profession too and can relate to some things you said. I wish I was wiser back then too and would have handled things better. We learn and become better people when we do the right thing for us. Keep us updated on how things work out. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
Hiya Dolphin..... you just need to remember one cool saying that was taught to me several years ago:
"what you think of me is none of my business".
If you like you, then who cares what they say, think, or do?? Be yourself, be proud of who you are, and your integrity will stand tall through it all...
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I so relate to what you said. I used to teach in a post 16 College, we had great policies for nipping any gossip and bullying in the bud - when it was the students..... the staff, now, that was a real snake pit at times.
Anyway, for what it is worth, when you separate people, speak to them individually, they each have to account for actions. If you see all 3 together, they might gang up.
Stay strong, dont take this rubbish - you worth better!
My husband moved out and we really haven't said anything to people. But boy has the gossip flown around our small town. People have directly and indirectly confronted me. My husband and I agreed that it was none of anyone's business. What the gossip about me has made me look at is the gossip that I have taken part in. Ouch! It is hurtful to me so I bet my gossip is hurtful to others. I am ready to reel myself in a little bit.
