I went through my journal today to see how much had changed over the course of the last few months.  Well, not much has.  I found a poem I had wrote on 7/14 of this year. 

I see you in the water,

splashing and going down,

do I help or leave you be,

maybe I won't make it to you,

maybe you'll let me save you,

what if I'm too late.

I'm going after you,

I've decided to try,

I don't know what'll happen,

as I get you to you,

you grab my arm,

pull me to you,

then push me under,

you hold me there,

won't let me up,

you're holding me down, WHY,

I tried to help you out,

tried to get you to shore,

I'm tired now, can't breathe,

must breathe, but can't, can't,

do I deserve this,

why can't I help you,

why do you do this to me,

I thought I'd learn,

there were many times I'd done this,

you'd think I'd learn,

now I'm dying at your hands,

all because I wanted to help,

all because I love you,

why are you doing this,

WHY, WHY, WHY,

the air is gone, my life is slipping,

you've killed me now,

no more helping you,

you're on your own,

as for me, no more outside emotions,

silent tears, stormy thoughts,

it never rains, it pours,

tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis,

all in one, but no one sees,

no one knows, I'm deeper than ever,

but no one, not even you,

no one will ever see,

the hurt and pain inside of me.

Sheri