Have you ever used your group's phone list? - Al-Anon Family Group

atheos · Senior Member

Have you ever used your group's phone list?

atheos · Senior Member

...also, at points in my life, my sister (my main qualifier) has had a pattern of calling me with looooong depressing phonecalls about everything that's wrong in her life. I've always hated those phonecalls, but put up with them out of a sense of obligation. I would hate to think I was putting a fellow Al-Anon member in the same situation...

linbaba · Veteran Member

We give our phone numbers because we want people to call, we learn recovery by passing it on to others

I have used the phone expensively over the years, both calling others for help and recieving calls for help, and in both cases have been set miraculously back on my feet again, having heard or said exactly what I needed to say or hear

When I have gotten the phone calls, which I have recieved probably thousands and made tens of thousands over the years I have always found myself saying the very thing I needed to hear myself, and having it strengthen my own program

We can't or don't do it alone is not just a saying, it's a truth, without each other there IS no recovery, meetings are only a very very small part of my own recovery, albeit an important one, but the phone for me has been as important as meetings

In consensus atque unitate stat potentia

or "In Unity, there is strength"

linbaba · Veteran Member

I meant extensively not expensively but after a few of my cell phone bills I have recieved over the years I am going to let it stand

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

they would not give their phone numbers if they were not willing to help, all hours, anytime. Don't hesitate.

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

I cannot tell you enough about the Alanon phone list.

I have called in the middle of the night, when I felt desperate when the alcoholic hadnt come home. So many times they talked me into a bath with a
good book, use the time for yeurself they would tell me and many other things that got me thru those nites.

This list is you saving grace, I hope you use it.

Luv, Bettina

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

I have a phone list in my purse, in my car and in my house. I have an old time sponsor that has been in the program for over 30 years and just recently got an answer machine! Ha! I love her though. So, for several years I would call her home and just get the ringing phone in my ear, I could not leave a message. But, you know what, I was willing to go to any lengths to get what she had so I kept calling until I got her.

In times of trouble when I can't reach my sponsor, I have other friends in the program plugged into my phone to run stuff by. The phone lists are handy for me because over the years I have come to know these people so it is not a strange conversation.

This is what works for me, give a person a ring from the list, I tell them who I am and ask if this is a good time to talk. If not they will tell you. Then go to the next person on the list.

Another resource for me was the Alanon information center in your local area. Check the net or the phone book. There are alanon members answering the phones that you can talk to so there is never a bad time if you want to remain anonymous.

Very Very Tired · Senior Member

I'm a newcomer and also afraid of the list.

However, during a particularly low moment, I took a chance and called one of the numbers. The person wasn't available so I left a message. She called back within 5 minutes and left a message for me. We played phone tag several times: she wasn't able to answer when I called and I wasn't able to answer when she called. But, for me, simply knowing there was someone "out there" who cared enough to call me back, even though she was in the middle of her own crisis, gave me a feeling of connectedness and peace.

Someone else at a meeting took the time to write their phone number on a piece of paper and slip it into my ODAT book while looking me in the eye and saying, "Call."

I am a shy person by nature. I hate making phone calls. But, I've found people who care and want to hear from me.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Funny how a phone can seem to weigh a thousand pounds , use the list its a gift , if thier number is there they are willing to listen and to share thier own experiences with you . Your sponsors number may be on that list we are so used to doing it alone that the idea of sharring our fears etc is foriegn to us and I think a little bit of ego is in there too , I can do this myself thank you , but why would you want to do this when for the first time we have someone willing to listen not tell you your crazy and allows you to cry with out telling you to shut up ? risk it pick up the phone . * hugs* Louise

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