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Nobody promised being a mother would be easy did they. My 18 year old son who, for all of his life has walked away from situations where there is alcohol, told me that tonight he is going to a co-workers and he likely won't come home... "not gonna chance getting home, if you know what I mean". It was like a kick in the gut. Guess I should give him credit for being honest with me, but I just pray that my HP will watch over him and that the night does not turn out to be "a blast". He's an adult now and I can't stop him, nor do I think I should try, but it still shakes me to the core.
As a mom myself, with teens, I can really sympathize with your feelings here. However, try to keep it in perspective. Most teens and young adults do some drinking, and most come to no harm. Taking a drink now and then is part of our culture, and is not a bad part, for most people. I've talked about this quite a lot with my own kids, because I think they need to know that they are more susceptible to alcoholism than 'regular' people, both genetically, and because they were raised in the insanity of an A home. One of the real dangers, for kids at risk, is early drinking, that is, in the early teens. The fact that your son has waited this long to drink is a very good sign that he may not have a problem with it. I know that my own kids have seen their dad, reeling and raging, from too much drink. They have also seen relatives and friends, and ME, having one drink with a meal, or at a gathering, and then saying "No thanks, one's enough", or "I've got to drive, thanks", or like your son, arranging NOT to drive, because they expect to take a little too much. Surely good examples count too? Trust him, love him, and try to get some sleep tonight.
Don't know if I'll really sleep well tonight, but yes I do need to trust his judgement. I guess I'm so nervous because this is a first for me. I can see that my son is in fact struggling with this a little himself, internally, so I'll just put my trust in my HP and see how things go.
I have always tried to imagine what I would do if one of my children came to me like your son came to you, mine are young, so it is hard to play things out.
I no longer do that, who nows what the future may bring.
It sounds like you were really practing "Let go and Let God". I hope if I ever have that need, I can be as strong as you, and practice my alanon.
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I am so sory that you are going through this right now. I hope that you got through the night alright and actually got some sleep. Try to remember that teenagers experiment and party but not all of them turn out to be alcoholics/drug addicts. Try to be positive!!!
I have every bit of faith that every thing went fine and that you are going to be fine. I know I say this now and then when my kids are that age you will be telling me the same thing.
Yikes... your post just reminds me of how thankful that I don't have to deal with teens drinking...... YET. My kids are only 9 and 7, but I can empathize with your situation. Hopefully your son is well educated around alcohol, alcoholism, and the increased likelihood that he could become an alcoholic, due to being raised in an alcoholic home.
Keep the lines of communication open with him, no matter what. You are right on the money, when you accept that "at least he told you", as I see that as a good sign.
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
