The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wanted to thank everyone that responed to my post. I do love my A very much not sure that came across. One thing that was wrote back was Hate is Love Frustrated. Boy did I need that. I am Frustrated. My A is depressed and I can't help him. I'm so frustrated. We have a good life why can't he see it. Why is it so hard for him to live sober. I just don't get it. I see all the good thing all he see is the bad. It just gets me so mad. I guess if I didn't love him i wouldn't care. Hate is love Frustrated.
It's not that he can't see what a good life the two of you have. It's his disease that won't let him see it. That is the most fustrating thing about this disease. It's takes otherwise descent human beings, and reeks havoc with their minds. Remember their thinking processes are not like ours. Their's is addict thinking.
One of the things that I have always had to keep in mind when my A was drinking was that it wasn't him talking. It was the alcohol. Does that make sense? When he's sober in a million years he would never say what he can say when he's drinking. I know he doesn't hate me. Do you know how many times I've heard that when he's drinking?
Who knows why some people can live sober and others can't. My A's father has been sober for 32 years without any kind of rehab. He just had had enough. My aunt, will never be sober. I'm convinced that's why so treatment programs fail. Is it a chemical thing? Probably. Everybody's brains are different. Maybe it's their HP sending a message to them that they can't or are not ready to read. Who knows?
Would that there could be a silver bullet to make our As well. Maybe someday there will be. For now all we can do is to take care of ourselves first. Hang in there.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I know how you feel. Sometimes I am so consumed with love for my "A" that I know he is the right man for me. But then something will happen and I will feel all that go away. Then I wonder why I stay.
When it all comes down to it, I love him. And I still have that hope that things will change.
Just remember when you are frustrated you have a very safe place to come to and vent. We are all here for ya!
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
